Galumphing is quite over
People often ask me about the things that I am busy with, now that I am finished with the undergrad level. I mentioned undergrad since I am pursuing grad studies soon, in a month more or less. And there's only one thing that I used to tell them: I ain't busy at all coz I am not doing anything at home, except for eating, sleeping and now, writing.
There were so many times that I dreamt of becoming busy with a lot of things. I wished to continue reading novels which I enjoyed doing when I was in HS. I also wished to leave the house and hangout with friends like before. But upon thinking of it, the passion suddenly disappears. I have no idea; maybe I tend to jump into conclusions hastily. If I used to be hooked with the internet before, meaning talk to a lot of my friends in YM, now, I suddenly lost shape in staying for a long chat. If you could see it, my happy life turned out to be dull all of a sudden. And I just couldn't help but become dazed by it.
As the Great Chinese Philosopher Lao Tzu put it: Silence is a great source of strength. I believe him. All I am busy with, if you would allow me to consider it as an action, is to be silent nowadays. I am fond of seating in one corner, observing my surroundings, thinking about a lot of things, day-dreaming, and reflecting without making any sound and these are enough for me to call it a day.
You might ask me what I am busy thinking of these days. Well, most of which is about this thing called love that I am apparently hooked up with as seen with my past entries. Others include the past and what has I become and etc. It's not much of thinking, I guess, but philosophizing perhaps. That's one good thing about the Ateneo education, I am well-fed with philo stuff: human-self, God and others.
With these, all I can say is, I see a different me now. So many things have changed and I can sense a mature being inside me. After fourteen years in academics, after six years of vacationless and of being a full-time student and at the same time, of being full-time in organization works, I have changed so much. Not drastically but perhaps, smoothly. I always tell this to my friends, at least those who are close to me, that everything in my life seems to start falling in the right place, piece-wise-smooth I guess (haha, fourier series!).
It may not be obvious physically, which I have longed for development and improvement, but mentally and emotionally, it's quite evident (that is, in my perspective, take note). I have loved and continued loving special people that has somehow contributed a lot to my development as a person for myself and as a person for others. Thanks to you guys.
Most of which, that I am very thankful of, is that I have learned to love genuinely and purely. That is the kind of love, which requires no reason and expectation. Good thing here is that I learned how to think carefully and deliberately. No more galumphing at least.
10:46 AM
Monday, March 19, 2007
