A Happy Ending, Maybe
It's really hard to end something you haven't even started.
I found myself sitting on the third floor of SEC A, waiting for someone to pay a visit and at least try my own little game, factoring with tiles. An hour has passed yet there were only two groups that I have enlisted, so far. Despite my unpleasant state, I still managed to kick off this tiring, heart-pounding day.
And right at that very moment of waiting, I suddenly got trapped in all sorts of thoughts that were haunting me for months now. I feel so empty yet so many things keep on pouring in, hammering my head. I have never been like this before, nor did I dream to be in such position. But amidst all these, I have made a decision, that is, to end something I haven't even started. The problem is, I don't know how.
Maybe I should start thinking of something else.
9:34 PM
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Melancholy Sunset
Everyday is Another Sunset
Several times did I find my eyes trying to sneak out, but it hardly could. Even did my ears trying to capture the vibrations coming from the tick the clock, wondering if it’s time to rise up and begin another tiring day. But in totality, it was a big failure.
Luckily, there's a coup attempt and classes were suspended. Damn great, isn't it?
I would definitely have to agree with it. Not because I am going to be messing all day inside the house, since I going to miss the bonus paper on Cory Aquino’s talk for my history class, but surely it will be a celebration to all of us, Filipinos. Mabuhay ang diwa ng EDSA!
I'm pretty sure that all of us are already looking forward on what will happen by the end of this day. Will it be the same lethargic day or a spectacular one that could wreck every single nerve on us? I just hope that the latter would prevail. And this has been a usual scenario, another usual thought, as always.
I wish I have my own EDSA day for me to celebrate that could at least cause a drastic blast on my life. The more I wait, the more I become silly and irritating to my loving block mates. Love remains unconditional, mali ba ako?
12:57 PM
Friday, February 24, 2006
Hearts, Clubs and Spades
I went home late last night, happy...
... and it has been so weird.
I ate, showed my mom those silly dance moves and finally settled on the couch, watching PBB. And it has never been so eerie.
Thanks to the DeeJay for making his way of sympathizing with me, and to the ChickGirl for making me realize the consequences of being a hopeless romantic. And I am just thankful that my block mates aren’t cry babies at all.
I want to make a toast to Kai, for our discoveries.
12:23 PM
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Scupidity
I am almost a twelfth done with my nineteenth year, yet the rest of it remains suspiciously annoying. I thought I am going to love each and every detail of it, waiting day-by-day and night-by-night until a spanking surprise come to me and say, “Hey, what a wonderful year for you!” But I was wrong. All of my hopes and aspirations suddenly faded each second as I look forward to this nerve-racking year ahead of me.
Eleven months left, I can hardly wait. I wish I could just make a great leap at this very moment up to the day I turn 20. I wrote to Twenty and I am eating my words now. I wish to see her soon! I wish to forget everything that has happened, that’s happening and that will happen. I just couldn’t stand every single piece of it.
Yesterday was a real off-school day for me. I woke up late, went to the family reunion (through Khyle’s Baptism), visited my cousin CJ and nephew AJ, attended the mass celebration at St. Joseph and had an exciting and memorable marathon with ‘Memoirs of A Geisha’ and ‘Proof.’ I slept around two in the morning, contemplating on the movies I have seen.
‘Memoirs of A Geisha’ is a great masterpiece. It’s a so-so for most people and I can’t figure out why. Maybe this is because I haven’t read the book, which I will never dare to do but for me, even though it’s quite predictable, it’s one of the best movies I have seen. I somehow regret seeing it through a pirated DVD, which didn’t seem pirated (Labo). I should have waited for it to be shown on the big screen.
Same thing with ‘Proof.’ I loved it despite the fact that I didn’t like the story. The plot was so simple yet the way they narrated it in the film was superb. A standing ovation should be given for the cinematography, for Gwyneth and Anthony, for the screenplay and for the director’s exquisite way of showing the sense out of the film. I really loved the flashbacks and the way each scene shifted to another. And of course, who could have missed the luscious ingredient for a math major, the proof itself, even though it was not thoroughly shown and elaborated.
I slept late out of an intense paranoia. And guess what, I have realized that writing your thoughts on paper is an effective way in relieving stress. It's also like transferring your memories on paper. Want an effective way to forget a memorable and bugging experience? Just write your thoughts on a piece of paper and ignore all the grammatical errors and stuff, and once you're done, it's either you keep it or throw it directly to the bin. Just make sure that you won't be able to read it again, for whatever you've written and read will stay with you for eternity.
I woke up with a severe headache. I dunno why.
12:58 PM
Monday, February 20, 2006
What is IT?!
Philosophy is indeed philosophia.
Day after day, I get so in love with it!
I am just too excited to our last day of classes.
Something to ponder on:
Someone accidentally bumped on somebody.
Someone apologized and said sorry.
Somebody replied, "No problem, it's okay."
My $1-million question is: What's IT?
9:03 PM
Monday, February 13, 2006
Rising from the Dead
Eighteen days have been so long yet too short for me to realize that I am insanely losing focus. Yes, I have said it right. I have made several attempts to post an entry but I just simply couldn’t. And I want to break this silence, not to continue updating my readers (like Mal and everybody) but to update myself of what’s currently running inside of my head for the past 500 hours of staying out of this peripheral cacophonous life of mine.
I am keeping my feet back on the ground, looking forward that one day I could learn from all these things that’s happening in my life.
So many things have passed by without a word from me so let me enumerate them one by one. These were the things that in their occurrence, have somewhat struck the innermost senses in me.
The Stampede
If there’s someone to be blamed for the stampede incident, then that’s none other than the people who went to the Ultra. And I am going to speak out in Filipino, in response to what my Philo teacher says May Talab!
“Bakit hahayaan ng tao na magpaalipin sa isang sistemang nagpapaigting ng kanilang katamaran? Tama ang sinabi sa Misa, ang taong bayan ay unti-unti nang nawawalan ng pag-asa. Hindi na sila nagpapakatao, hindi na sila nagmemeron, at hinahayaan nalang nilang sila’y hamakin, alipustahin at kontrolin ng mga taong may-at-nasa kapangyarihan. Paano at papaano? Hindi na bago ang ganitong pangyayari sa kasaysayan. Ibaling mo man mula pa sa panahon bago dumating ang mga kastila, wala pa ring ipinag-iba. Ganoon pa rin, Bitin!”
Whew… I have had to cut it short, my heart’s already palpitating. Exagg… yeah but you know what I have realized about this incident? Bakit likas sa Pilipino ang magturuan at ipasa ang sisi sa iba? Hmm, now I am really appreciating my Philo and Histo classes. Thanks to Sir Roy and Miss Habana!
The Elections
I really couldn’t stand the apathy that certain Ateneans have. Damn, I couldn’t see the elite personality in them. And you know what I have heard from these people? Well, wala raw kasing nagagawa at wala silang ganang bumoto. For heaven’s sake, the office/anything wouldn’t come to you and say “hello, ito na ginagawa namin!” Shouldn’t you be the one observing and getting yourself updated regarding what’s happening around you? Darn, regarding the elite-ness, well, walang pinag-iba to most Filipinos: Always complain, complain and complain. Shit talaga, hindi pwedeng iyong mga officers lang ang gagawa ng paraan to reach out and make people know what they’re doing but also the constituents who care, participate and do they’re sole responsibility, that is, to actively take part to the group that they wished to belong to. This is in general, as usual.
And let me thank those AMS people who took part in the elections. To those who made their way to the Matteo-Ricci Hall out of their busy days just to vote. Thank you for your support. I just hope to see you next roller-coaster year for all of us! Let’s all count together! =)
My Movie Marathon
I have just seen three romantic movies this weekend. Thanks to Nons. Well, it feels great to be in-love. Cheers to a more day-dreaming and to all sorts of dreams!
The PBB Celebrity Edition
Again and again, the show has gained my interest as it gives me relief from my everyday stress. Well, as usual, some of the housemates are damn boring but on the other hand, some are really funny. It may not seem so relevant but the good thing is, I am getting to know some things about me. Labo! To ease things out, you know Rico right? Well, I could somehow relate to his current undertakings and I honestly sympathize with him. There’s so much that he has to prove and I don’t wish to have him out this Saturday. But the f***ing thing is, what should we expect this coming Saturday? Well, it’s probable that he’s going out but I am keeping my fingers crossed. Oh well… the hell I care. Anyway, I watch it in lieu of my support for Bianca. GO BIANCA! She’s my cass this season!
Post Birthday Thingies
I would like to thank Nons for the Sneakers, and heart gummies, whatever you call it. Also, thanks to Patty for the clearbook. See? Gifts never stop pouring in and I hope that it wouldn’t stop!
Valentines Day
No comment. I don’t want to talk about how cold it’s going to be, coz I promise myself that IT WILL NOT BE despite the busy week that’s coming up, soon!
What’s up?!
Micro 2nd LT on Hearts’ day.
History Report on Friday.
Meetings, left and right.
My Philo Syn(thesis)
Papers, papers, papers.
Valentines Day.
Close to you.
Whew… Let’s see what we can do. Six weeks to go! Yahoooooo!
8:22 PM
Sunday, February 12, 2006
