My Cacophonous Existence

Sickly Impossible

2007-12-05T22:35:00.000+09:00

Sickly Impossible

I never thought that simple stomach cramps could be that painful - like I was facing death. I sought for so many proven and tested remedies but nothing seem to be effective. I was bed ridden the entire day, alone and very afraid. Thanks to Grammy for she was there to lend me a hand in one of the most dreadful days of my life.

Like it was the end - that I let go of my responsibilities, in school and at home - that I have forgotten who I was and who I want to be.

It was sickly impossible to think.

Unknown Desolations

2007-11-11T11:36:00.000+09:00

Unknown Desolations

In theology, there are what we call consolations - the treasured moments that make us feel better as persons, as human beings. On the other hand, at the other end, there are the desolations - which normally bring us down until our last drop as good people. This is one of the Ignatian teachings that makes my logical mind and sound heart.

In times of desolations, we need to recall a bit of our consolations to fill in our full-being, to move on and be happy. It should be easy if you know what consolations will cover up those desolations but it would be detrimental if you're unaware of your desolations - in the first place. Our consolations are there but we hardly pick the right ones to heal - easily.

I have been caught up with a strange, unreasonable and illogical feeling. It sounds like real love - true love, for most of us. But I can hardly pinpoint the desolation and choose the appropriate consolation. I trembled, got totally depressed and felt really bad.

I mourned, cried a river for the first time and mourned again after this strange feeling that I have. Talking Greys, it's like an open wound never closed after an operation because there's still to be done - and it is painful, very.

It is not about me, which I am quite sure. My mind tells me to be okay and not feel bad because I shouldn't feel bad after all. It says that everythings not worth it so cut the crap and move on. But I hardly could.

I was left hanging - this best describes it. I need answers maybe, some explanations - the sound and acceptable ones. Or else this will drive me crazy.

Looking at the bright side, I believe that this is a good feeling. This is a learning experience.

(I have overcame my self issues, I became ready finding that there's was nothing to be ready after all.)

A Song that ONLY Math People can Appreciate

2007-10-31T11:53:00.000+09:00

A Song that ONLY Math People can Appreciate

Finite Simple Group (of Order Two)
A Klein Four original by M. Salomone

The path of love is never smooth
But mine's continuous for you
You're the upper bound in the chains of my heart
You're my Axiom of Choice, you know it's true

But lately our relation's not so well-defined
And I just can't function without you
I'll prove my proposition and I'm sure you'll find
We're a finite simple group of order two

I'm losing my identity
I'm getting tensor every day
And without loss of generality
I will assume that you feel the same way

Since every time I see you, you just quotient out
The faithful image that I map into
But when we're one-to-one you'll see what I'm about
'Cause we're a finite simple group of order two

Our equivalence was stable,
A principal love bundle sitting deep inside
But then you drove a wedge between our two-forms
Now everything is so complexified

When we first met, we simply connected
My heart was open but too dense
Our system was already directed
To have a finite limit, in some sense

I'm living in the kernel of a rank-one map
From my domain, its image looks so blue,
'Cause all I see are zeroes, it's a cruel trap
But we're a finite simple group of order two

I'm not the smoothest operator in my class,
But we're a mirror pair, me and you,
So let's apply forgetful functors to the past
And be a finite simple group, a finite simple group,
Let's be a finite simple group of order two
(Oughter: "Why not three?")

I've proved my proposition now, as you can see,
So let's both be associative and free
And by corollary, this shows you and I to be
Purely inseparable. Q. E. D.

A Strange Passion

2007-09-30T15:20:00.000+09:00

A Strange Passion

I am becoming fluid nowadays.

I can hardly believe that I have stayed at Manang's overnight while it was raining hard just to make sure that I am getting Upper A tickets for the Ateneo-LaSalle UAAP game. I want to see it even just for the last time since it's their last encounter for the season and also, since this will be my last year in Ateneo. This feels odd because I never realized that I still have this strange little school spirit in me.

I also never thought that I am going to be this passionate about looking for a good pair of shoes. Gee, I even spent hours visiting e-bay, searching for store websites, and looking for their collections. I also never stopped calling outlets if they still have stocks but apparently, wala. It started when I saw this last pair of Gola shoes at a sports store. I didn't get it for Php2000 because it didn't look brand new. If it's on sale for Php1000, then I could have just tolerated the dirt.

This is really strange.

Nebbish - thou shant be

2007-08-15T22:45:00.000+09:00

Nebbish - thou shant be

Dear avid reader,

You must be wondering what this is about. Well, I won't give you any hints. Let us just say that I want to talk to you, seriously and with sincerity. I wrote to you because I am so concerned on what's happening to you due to some ill-fated phenomena that not only surrounds you but engulfs you - which is much worse.

What are these ill-fated phenomena, which I understand to be so bothering and that if you will continue to be nebbish, you will suffer. I cannot put it into words exactly - since the description I used is very subjective - but allow me to cite some examples instead.

You must be worried if you're losing friends. Don't be because you're not doing anything wrong. Think of it this way, isn't it a good thing that at this early stage of your life, you come to know who your true friends are? You must be lucky because things are manifesting transparently to you. Well, except of course to my next example.

You must be also worried of the hi-hello-and-stabbing-you-at-your-back or simply put, your orocan and great-at-pretending 'friends.' I say that you really must be worried and you must watch out for them. If you're hearing confessions and testimonials from people about these acquaintances (we cannot call these people friends) that they're really such beings, pile it up for a while as your data. I mean, don't believe it right away. Use your instinct, open your mind and heart in making your judgement. And if you believe that the data you've gathered are sufficient enough to match your judgement, then voila - starting doing something.

How do we know who these people are? Honestly, it's difficult to find out but we could have hints, you know. First, if you are hearing never-ending criticisms and comments about you - from head to toe and from body to soul, then it could be a good hint. What's so special about this is that you hear it from other people who could be your potential and good sources, for they make stories - good and juicy - at your expense. If , at the end of the day, they'll come to you and narrate everything, then that's an exception. But if it will take them more than a week span, then it becomes the other way. But anyway, don't get affected coz you are not the only one who's lucky enough to have that natural selection of friends - you know, survival of the fittest.

What if it's no longer commentaries and criticisms but rather personal views about anything - ranging from life, love up until the dumbest thing that you can think of. Well if it's towards you, then don't be worried. I am sure that you'll laugh out loud at it. But if a true friend of yours gets affected, then you must do something to get rid of that poisonous idea that runs through your friends nerves. What do I mean? Are you familiar with life's philosophies and beliefs of each individual - ranging from the most closeminded to the most ill-fated ? We can treat it as our poisonous substance - the venom that runs through our veins. If that venom has gone all-over your true friend's body, then go after the snake who have transfered that venom. The snake who is an expert at chemistry, can easily create these poisonous and rubbish substances in infecting a nebbish easily. I am not saying that you kill the snake rightaway, no, not that. Make it feel the bliss of pain by first, letting it know that it captured an innocent victim. Afterwards, start formulating your remedy by disproving its chemical reactions - or out-of-this-world-rubbish-and-nitwitted ideas. The snake will suffer from agony and starts taking off its evil and thick skin and later on transforms like you - its opposite. Won't this be a good mission in life? Well, it's irritating at first, if you're too close to being a nebbish, but have a good grip of it eventually by taking time. In real life, these snakes are really hard to deal with coz its venom mostly produces my previous examples. I wonder how naive they could be. Too bad...

I believe that what I have said are already enough. Let me just give you a final note. It would have been my reason for writing you - to open you to the idea that a python and its minions exist and I advise you to not worry coz there are so many others that care for you, like me, like us and like you do. I assure you that by the end of the day, justice will prevail and you'll be uplifted. Yes, there is hope and a good fortune that awaits us! Be patient for now. If you need anything, I will just be around. Kindly send my regards to your true friends, to our true friends...

'Til next time.

PS: FYI, it might be Rowling's reason for creating Neville's character, who starts being nebbish. Just a thought...

A Confabulation

2007-07-27T18:44:00.000+09:00

A Confabulation

I have been stressed out lately, that's why I was not able to attend my classes for two consecutive days. Overfatigue - I guess. I had a keen sight of it but somehow I ignored it and there ya go, I got so sick. Not really a serious one but I am really bothered by it. Vomitting - grabe, I just want to forget it.

Anyway, finally, I got the chance to write down my thoughts after a long while. I even displayed my status in YM as "online after a 10 years." It feels different that for the first time this month or in months I suppose, I managed to stay in the house for the entire day. I am usually not home everyday including weekends since I have to cope with my academics - yeah, now I can call it "academics." Haha

Nothing's really up except for some mind-boggling philosophical encounters. The other day, my cousin and I, on our way to school, rode an FX going to Katipunan. It usually costs us Php15 for a direct ride and at times, we take two FX rides (One to LRT, then from LRT to Katips) for Php20, ten each. This time, the driver immediately reminded us that we have to pay him Php20 to Katipunan. To our dismay, we decided to get off at LRT and ride another FX to Katips instead of paying him Php20 for the direct ride.

Was it a good idea or was it just because of pride? At first, I thought it was lame since it will cost us the same amount, and only, magpapagod pa kaming bumama at mainitan sa paghihintay na makasakay ng isa pa. Also, isn't it the same thing with our option of taking the LRT route first then go to Katips? The only difference is that this time, we have ridden an FX explicitly saying that it will pass by Katips. What if we have ridden an LRT FX at first and then upon reaching the station, the driver suddenly offered another ride to Katips for another cost? Won't it matter more or less?

Upon thinking about it, I guess there's a great deal of difference. Since both drivers are taking chances in maximizing their income, which is not a bad thing, I guess the subtlety of their way of taking advantage of the situation is the one that matters.

Consider the first driver, the one with the direct route to Katips. Since he's asking for a fixed amount of payment, he's somewhat assuring of a fixed income that is the same if he's to take an LRT route first. While the other driver, the one with the LRT route then to Katips, asking for a fair and regulated amount compared to the first driver, is not even assured of a fixed income (worth the same as the first) since he's not sure if he would be able to take passengers by then. See the difference?

One appears to be an arbitrageur - which is not really good for humankind - while the other is just doing his way, trying to be fair with life by taking life's risks.

In writing this, I thought it's just a matter of thinking which is the lesser of two evil but later on, I realize it's not the case. It appears to be bad at first but looking at it in a deeper and philosophical way, there's goodness pala. I hope that the driver could accept his fault on this and that he'll realize the burden that he's causing his passengers - like me who was bothered by it and even came up with this one after a hell week. Whew.

Anyway, there's one thing I learned from here, that we should never look on things based on how we feel about it. We have to look at it an objective point of view, not just by saying which of which is better of two worse scenarios. And in the end, one remains important of all, that no matter how good or bad we've been, we should never fail to accept our faults. Humility, anyway, will ease the tinkering mind and unstable heart This is a confabulation to all of us. Cheers!

Triskaidekaphobia

2007-07-13T22:50:00.000+09:00

Triskaidekaphobia

I fear the number 13, especially when it is friday. Like today.

It is at times like this that I ironically look back by sneaking forward. I tend to remember every single bad thing that happened yesterday by wondering what could happen tomorrow. Weird. The good thing is, today is the day that made me realize how vulnerable I am in making the so-called 'butterfly effect' happen.

Among the worst times I have had, losing someone is the only thing that I cannot get over about.

I wanna talk about girls this time, the ones that I somehow lost outta-nowhere.

I miss this girl I get to chitchat and catch up with whenever I confront her about her life (love life, family life, social life, etc etc) in one of my old tambayans. I usually see her in the morning - sleepy as hell. We usually laugh about each other's personal shortcomings. She has taught me things that I never knew that I could barely learn - like those that has its own spot in the town. She is one of the boys although she has girl friends. I thought we're close enough but nah. I ruined that dream with my stupid tantrums. After which, I never had the chance to spend quality time with her.

I also miss this girl who always inform me of her very unfortunate lovelife. We never talk about it in person but I have sensed her genuine feelings despite the limitation of text messaging. She never stopped ranting about her life, which we always laugh at towards the end. I lost her by expressing my sincere feelings, saying good things about her. She must have misinterpreted it. My bad.

Another is this girl that I missed. She was taken away by someone else and was driven away by some bad feelings. My hands are up about it by I ain't guilt-free.

How about this girl who appears and disappears without prior notice? Nah, I wish to talk about her some other time.

Last for this entry is this girl who was engulfed by evil. I have known her with a good heart but was made devilish by her emotions. I cannot do anything about it and it makes me feel bad. And so, she became lost in darkness and I can hardly find her anymore.

What so peculiar about these girls is that I lost them whenever I share with them a piece of me that I never let an ordinary friend see. It is just sad, especially if it comes from this fear - triskaidekaphobia.

Circumspectivity

2007-04-28T03:07:00.000+09:00

Circumspectivity

I have to admit that I need to give up. I have to protect my little self, my little life. And I have to do everything to save what is left of me. I had to let go... to forget. And I am very sorry for being selfish, for committing this big mistake which I will regret for a lifetime.

I am just being cautious - doing an activity described by prudence is a way of becoming one.

PS: Cirscumspect + activity = circumspectivity, WWITS.

A Nonplus

2007-03-23T22:32:00.000+09:00

A Nonplus

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one --- person, no different from any other --- person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination, not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. And I hate love."

Thanks to Adri and the great Neil Gaiman.

Wander-dreaming

2007-03-20T15:48:00.000+09:00

Wander-dreaming

One might think that it would be insanely to seat in one corner and at least, reflect and dream. But I tell you, it has never been that good and that new. To wander in a lot of dreams is very promising, it makes us feel good... and very cool.

I switched the TV off very early, relative to the normal hours. Then after clearing all the mess in my room, all the photocopies, test papers, quizzes, love notes... etc., I went to bed and played some music.

I was actually sleepy at first but later on, I found it amusing listening to my favorite old songs. Then I have thought of a lot of things.... wonderful things. And I realized that I never really lost the passion for sad music.

Oh well, it was just one of the happiest moments of my life. Please ignore this post, for this might not mean anything. ♣

Galumphing is quite over

2007-03-19T10:46:00.000+09:00

Galumphing is quite over

People often ask me about the things that I am busy with, now that I am finished with the undergrad level. I mentioned undergrad since I am pursuing grad studies soon, in a month more or less. And there's only one thing that I used to tell them: I ain't busy at all coz I am not doing anything at home, except for eating, sleeping and now, writing.

There were so many times that I dreamt of becoming busy with a lot of things. I wished to continue reading novels which I enjoyed doing when I was in HS. I also wished to leave the house and hangout with friends like before. But upon thinking of it, the passion suddenly disappears. I have no idea; maybe I tend to jump into conclusions hastily. If I used to be hooked with the internet before, meaning talk to a lot of my friends in YM, now, I suddenly lost shape in staying for a long chat. If you could see it, my happy life turned out to be dull all of a sudden. And I just couldn't help but become dazed by it.

As the Great Chinese Philosopher Lao Tzu put it: Silence is a great source of strength. I believe him. All I am busy with, if you would allow me to consider it as an action, is to be silent nowadays. I am fond of seating in one corner, observing my surroundings, thinking about a lot of things, day-dreaming, and reflecting without making any sound and these are enough for me to call it a day.

You might ask me what I am busy thinking of these days. Well, most of which is about this thing called love that I am apparently hooked up with as seen with my past entries. Others include the past and what has I become and etc. It's not much of thinking, I guess, but philosophizing perhaps. That's one good thing about the Ateneo education, I am well-fed with philo stuff: human-self, God and others.

With these, all I can say is, I see a different me now. So many things have changed and I can sense a mature being inside me. After fourteen years in academics, after six years of vacationless and of being a full-time student and at the same time, of being full-time in organization works, I have changed so much. Not drastically but perhaps, smoothly. I always tell this to my friends, at least those who are close to me, that everything in my life seems to start falling in the right place, piece-wise-smooth I guess (haha, fourier series!).

It may not be obvious physically, which I have longed for development and improvement, but mentally and emotionally, it's quite evident (that is, in my perspective, take note). I have loved and continued loving special people that has somehow contributed a lot to my development as a person for myself and as a person for others. Thanks to you guys.

Most of which, that I am very thankful of, is that I have learned to love genuinely and purely. That is the kind of love, which requires no reason and expectation. Good thing here is that I learned how to think carefully and deliberately. No more galumphing at least.

Indefatigable

2007-03-17T19:32:00.000+09:00

Indefatigable

Nothing's tiring when it comes to love. Indefatigable as it is.

Even if I know it's a jump or whether I am certain or not of what's coming ahead of me, I still have to admit this with humility. Thee may be right and I may get hurt in the end but I don't care. What matters most is the happiness today, not of yesterday nor tomorrow. That is, with thee and with me. The premise must be firstly confirmed, how does thee feel with me? The answer is the only thing that matters then.

Whatever it is, my only response would be: I am aware and willing to be brave in the possibility that thee'll break my heart TOMORROW, but at least that will be better than not being with thee NOW and breaking my heart TODAY.

Loving is never tiring. It is as indefatigable as it would seem.

The Rapport Dream

2007-03-17T16:02:00.000+09:00

The Rapport Dream

Nobody dreams of being alone in whatever he does. One always needs company. Even in conspiring against others, one who could be considered the other behalf is a must to have. Otherwise, it won't be 'to conspire' in the first place. A certain relationship must exist then. That is, a friendship's rapport – the kind of relationship out of sympathetic understanding with one another – is needed.

But when it comes to 'love,' although a rapport is needed, it becomes a dream. Painstakingly, you'll never imagine how you would be able to achieve it once you experience the irony of mind and heart. And I damned hate it.

How ironic that I have begun saying these things. Am I already regretting things in the past? No, not at all. I just couldn't figure out a lot of things recently. I am in a state of confusion about life, about the future. Although there were quite new things that I have had since then, I still remain dazed and haven't recovered or adapted (if this is a better word) that much with the old ones. There were so many mind-boggling things that need some answers, despite the fact that I already seem to know it.

All I am concerned of at the moment is to be happy, which most of us do, or maybe, if we come to think of it, we should be thinking twice for it might jeopardize our future. Meaning, you chose to be happy now and take the risk of experiencing extreme sadness in the future. See, another never-ending heart-mind-heart-mind conflict. Dammit.

Now, with all of these, I go back to myself. I realize how foolish I am in being so selfless in these matters. I admit, I can hardly control my feelings regarding these things, especially love. Even if people say that it's just mind over matter, in love and loving, it prevails objectively. You can't say that you might not be thinking in love (familiar as it is with the movie and tv shows we’re fond of watching) but this isn't true because, I believe that when one's in love, he's already thought about it before loving the person. It is such that he ended up being hooked by it.

Enough of this.

Whatever it is, one thing for sure, I can never love this way again.

Wan - no more!

2007-03-12T15:45:00.000+09:00

Wan - no more!

It was a blast. I can hardly understand this feeling that I came across recently. Maybe, it's because school's over. Or rather, it's just now that I am coming to appreciate every single thing that is happening to me, no matter how little and insignificant it may be. It seems to me that everything has started to fall into place - like puzzle "nightmare" pieces. I just hope it's falling in the right place, at the right time - indeed maybe.

I was given five days to decide. Not to decide (a not-so-appropriate word), but rather propose. I couldn't see the logic for the ultimatum but yeah, it could mean a lot even if I am already decided. I just feel different and I am pretty sure and determined of this. Still, I have to wait, in accordance to my boss's order.

Whatever this is, I will definitely give this a shot. =) I am wan no more. I am once again rejuvenated and was brought back to my senses. I am ready to face reality and adult life now! Yehey, thank God for the memorable school days. =) Happy Graduation to all Seniors!

Starting a New Decade

2007-01-20T18:56:00.000+09:00

Starting a New Decade

I'm roughly six hours away from my second decade of existence. That is, I only have a few hours left to enjoy my teenage years. What the heck. As if there is something worthwhile from becoming a teenager. Yeah, I'm bitter.

Bitterness, I suppose, is sweet. It is like putting something inside your mouth, playing it with your tongue and mixing it with your saliva and after letting it pass by your throat, all of a sudden, you'll be tasting a bit of bitterness. And this bitterness, again, should be sweet. If will not admit its sweetness, then really, I am bitter. But the thing is, I am not.

Even if I am having a hard time updating this site, I just couldn't help but say something before my birthday. Not 'my birthday' but 'another year of me.' Yes, I am not really into birthdays despite its being the most celebrated and most unforgettable occasion for a person's life. I just have a different point of looking into what my birthday (in your case, your birthday of course) means to me: It's not about celebrating it but remembering and looking ahead.

Uhuh, as conceptual as it is, my birthday tells me to end something that will serve a good start. Darn, what am I saying? Anyway, forget about all these nonsense philosophizing.

On the other hand, I find it nice and funny to read what I have written last year and how people reacted to it. (Click here if you wanna go through it). To give justice to it, the entries show how youthful I have been at the start of the year, that somehow can be used to trace on how cacophonous 2006 has been.

And I just miss a lot of things. My critics, writing, ... , etc.

In six hours, I am closing the second decade of my life and hopefully, I could start a better one - more excitements, more adventures and more success. And I have to say that this decade has been meaningful to me, in a lot of things that I can never forget. Ending gradeschool, entering HS, leaving HS legacies, beginning college and now, putting an end to academic life. I don't really know where my life would lead me, but I am sure that it will lead to what we call eudaimonia. (Just kidding, I just came from my philo exam).

What is this all about? Honestly, I don't know. I just feel like updating this one, after 10 years (yeah, 10 years has been a trend to denote the lag). I have so many things in mind that I couldn't write. Maybe, I am just out of words. OR I am just being overly dramatic. HAHA

Anyway, just to make sense here, I just want to kick-off another decade. May it be, if not as meaningful, more meaningful and a lot worthwhile. I had fun living this decade of youthfullness - double-sided, double-meaning.

Lots of thanks to those who responded, with or without prior notice. I deeply appreciate it. Cheers, a new beginning to all!

Lost Being Inveterate

2006-12-23T15:48:00.000+09:00

Lost Being Inveterate

It's been a very long while since my last post. Having more than five weeks lag is no joke for an inveterate being like me. Well, it's really sad realizing a lot of things, metamorphosing the little kindness and warm heart that I still have. It seems like my silence has been enough to lose the deep-rooted and of long standing being that was in me.

On one hand, I am thankful for the sense of practicality, intuition and strength that the 'cause to this shift in personality and sensibility' has brought me. For I am no longer the weak type (I hope) who could quickly ruin every foundation built. Clinging is now at ease and dependence flipped to the other side. Thank God for the gift of adaptation.

But I miss everything about it. I miss being sentimental. I will surely miss the moments of contemplation and reminiscing. Argh.

In essence, I don't think I have lost anything. I am still patient and reflective 'though. Or maybe, it's not really me that concerns these but my friends who are already detaching themselves from me. =(

A Li'l Bit Febrile

2006-10-31T21:26:00.000+09:00

A Li'l Bit Febrile

I just came home from the COA EvSem. Well, what can I say? I couldn't help but rant about how vacation-less I have been so far. After the terrible and traumatic finals week came the ASLA congress and then COA Evsem. Up next is the AMS PlevSem this coming 3rd of November. So in essence, I only have the national holiday on Nov 1 to enjoy since on the second, I'll be back to work and start with the preparation of the biggest planning and evaluation for AMS. Haha. But nonetheless, it was really fun seeing how triumphant the seminars that I have attended. I enjoyed it so much. I really cherish the fun bonding moments, our mafia moments, our sleepy moments when all we could do is make coffee a number of times a day and of course, I had so much learning! But take note, it was only recently that I have thought of drinking coffee. Shet, after how many years.

Anyway, I hope that people are having their vacations very well. Doon nalang ako makikibalita at makikiinggit.

The Perfect Tragedy

2006-10-25T11:31:00.000+09:00

The Perfect Tragedy

After being too overwhelmed with 'The Island,' I thought I am going to have a very good sleep as a consolation to how frustrating my first monday of vacation was. But it's just a thought, quoting Ethel Booba. Haha. Yeah, seriously, I never thought that I am gonna wake up too early because of some incident that I see no point of mentioning here. Anyway, it commenced the day that launched a number of tragic unexpected events.

My tuesday schedule was quite a mess. I actually didn't know what to do for the day. I went home to get some clothes right after we ate at KFC. Then, a few minutes after, left the house and went to ASLA. It was in Balara MWSS. Imagine, It was unwalkable. Gee, I walked the longest snakey road in my entire life with my aching feet. Sheeeeeet.

Anyway, when I arrived there, I saw Pam and JP. We had a small chit-chat about how ASLA is doing until I heard the worst news ever. It was monday night, according to them, that someone broke into Pam's car parked at Cervini that contains an LCD projector and 4 laptops. How unfortunate has it been. Imagine, it happened in only a span of 20 minutes according to the driver who just left for dinner. Also, it was during our small talk about this event when I received a text from Nix that she lost her contact lenses. Only to find out that it was put in Toni's container. But unfortunately, one was recovered while the other was never found.

All in all, it seemed to me that everything is falling into one place. You already know what I mean. Yesterday was an exemplar, indeed, of a series of unfortunate events.

BTW, my grades are already showing up... whew, another one of a kind.

Felicitous Movie Break

2006-10-24T11:44:00.000+09:00

Felicitous Movie Break

Despite putting an end to the hell that semester was, meaning the much-awaited end to each student's suffering finally came, I still find no reason to be happy or at least, to be at ease. Yesterday was a disastrous and stressful day for me.

Anyway, I don't wish to elaborate it any further. To cut it short: I looked forward for an exciting day but it didn't go well as planned. But THE ISLAND somehow pulled it off around 4am this morning. I just realize the movie buff still lives inside me. Thank God I didn't end up miserable on how frustrating yesterday was.

On the other hand, it's ASLA 5 day one yesterday! I regret not staying over the entire week. =(

Ostensible Finale

2006-10-21T22:44:00.000+09:00

Ostensible Finale

Soren Kierkegaard, a great philosopher, said - "Life must be understood backwards; but... it must be lived forward." I believe him but I can't really grasp the ideas that soar in my daily adventures. Everything appears to be true but not necessarily so. Ostensible, as I would best put it.

Let me try looking backward.

I never lived life alone nor did I enjoy it at full length. There are a lot of, of course, challenges I meet along with my friends, my family, and even with strangers or people that I don't know. These challenges sometimes makes me happy and sad, even wreck the tiniest nerve in me. The thing is, no matter how real it seem, it never ceases as if I never learned anything from it. The same problem occurs, the same state I end with. It is as if my life could be understood backwards but never lived forward. And that is just really sad.

On one hand, I can attest that there were really changes, minor ones like an improvement at least. But it's getting deeper. If I were to describe it perfectly, it's like a wound that started with a simple cut and became infected in the deepest layer of the skin. In other words, it's getting no better but a lot worse that one can ever imagine. Life must be it, getting deeper and narrower.

Again, it appears to be true but not necessarily so. I thought I am gonna feel a sense of hope and freedom after the helliest finals week I have had. I waited long enough for this, as I breathe the air of melancholia and excitement. But nah, it was an ostensible liberating finale.

I'm making no sense once again. Don't worry, my dear avid reader, for I will start filling this up this time. Thank God for the first semester that was.

Enlightenment

2006-09-16T17:26:00.000+09:00

Enlightenment

Truly an enlightenment, this day is, as I have surpassed the insourmountable expected odds which stumbled the other way around. And I deemed it best to pay tribute to this miraculous day, the best day that I have ever had.

I am not really sure when and how it started but during our Advanced Calculus' discussion on Metric spaces, I was engulfed by a different kind of aura, something unusual. Well, I can say that it's a blessing for I totally appreciated the complexity of those open and closed sets, the de Morgan's, the open balls... haha. Of course, I didn't noticed it in that jeefy moment not until Theology came. Imagine, after our discussion on St. Ignatius' First Week Reflection, gee, I felt the sudden rush of enlightenment. Yeah! It was truly a blessing. For the first time, I have made the sense out of Theology. I couldn't help but say it out loud, " I am loving Theo more!" How ironic, I have never loved Theo before. Whew.

The mystery continues to unfold. I was seated, chit-chatting with Toni during our Histo class when the bell rang and received the result of our quiz. How generous Sir had been when he gave me a perfect score for a total chamba-mistake. Then, philo came. For the record, I never yawned for the entire period. I totally and honestly understood each premise and reasoning Mr. Strebel has discussed to us. It was really unbelievable but so much so, I guess that all I have to do is to believe.

Before sunset occured, Amin KB came. I never thought of gaining the same stamina as I have had last year during the aftermath. I thought that my physique couldn't afford that much energy, strength and endurance in making it, of course with my team (GO TEAM 4!), to the finals and ending up as 3rd placer. It was really fantastic.

Never had it been purely up, I messed up with my blockmates Pigey and Malerie since I yielded them during the race. Yeah, the hell with me. For this incident, no matter how openminded we should be, my apology.

Nevertheless, this is one day that I will never ever fail to read and read all over again. No more sadness, no more negative vibes, no more rants. Sheer joy, peace and contentment are what this day is all about. Thank God for He is good!

Remember those consolations in times of desolations for the ES and GS work simultaneously in our day-to-day adventures. HAHA

A Fortuitous One

2006-08-31T16:00:00.000+09:00

A Fortuitous One

I can hardly believe it. It seems to me that everyday is no longer the "another day" that I used to have before. I wake up and wake up and wake up with the same things, same fear, same dull day. I am just so sick of it. My everyday has nonetheless became routinary.

I rise up, brush my teeth, catch traffic jam along katipunan, arrive late at my first class, eat breakfast, yawn a lot during math and theo, feel drowsy during my long lunch break, die with the-weird-rainy-season heat wave, and go home late at night after all the meetings. This is, unfortunately, my MWF habit.

Although I don't have class during TTH, the same scenario arises. I wake up a little bit later than my MWF waking hours, hope for the day to end, and start looking forward for the hell next day.

Weekend comes with Finance saturday and lazy sunday. Then, comes again the nerve-wracking school weekdays.

The same day comes the same week until I realize that it's the same year. And I want to bring back the good days, if this will hold true for eternity.

Silly Brat

2006-08-29T20:55:00.000+09:00

Silly Brat

I woke up late today and so confused if I should go to school or not. And it was already too late for me to realize how regretful I was in dragging myself all the way to school and in making myself starve to death. Yup, I always forget about eating whenever I'm swamped with a lot of things. To think that I didn't have class today, yeah, the pressure was so intense. Realizing these, I've thought of giving myself a consolation. I decided to drop by Chowking, near UP, and eat my not-so-favorite Beef Wanton and Siopao.

At first, I was too hesitant dining in since chinese/korean/japanese/thai/mongolian food disgusts my poor stomach. I had bad experiences with those asian restaurants that I do not wish to name, for their sake. But I still dined in, anyway that's the point. It was not so soon when I realized that I ordered the wrong siopao, my most-hated Bola-bola, and that the beef wanton noodles looked poorly. Guess what? I was enlightened na walang masama sa taong gutom. I was really satisfied with what I ate, knowing that I didn't spend much during the day so parang bumawi lang ako.

Okay na sana, i.e. nirvana na sana, but one incident spoiled things out.

I was almost done eating. In fact, I was on my way to my final bite when the guard approached me and said, "Sir, pwede naman pong magpaa, pakibaba po." I wondered what the hell is he saying, only to find out that he was pointing to my right foot on top of the chair next to me, on my left. It was the first time for my attention to be called just because of that. I know that it was really unethical but who cares? I was having fun eating, alone (take note) and how dare he to interupt me. Besides, I'm sure naman that my foot is clean. Anyway, I didn't bother to remove it and it made me realize how bratty I was.

Huwag niyo akong tutularan. Masama ang ginawa ko, for your information. But let me just clear things out, I was never mad at the guard. In fact, I nodded with him politely when he approached me.

I left the fast food chain and muntik na ako maiipit kasi binitawan na pala ng guard ang pinto. Of course, hindi niya sinasadya. =P

Compunction

2006-08-17T21:04:00.000+09:00

Compunction

This bests describe the feeling that a friend of mine is experiencing right now. I am no friend to her, since I got her caught in that situation. And now, I am feeling the same. Should we really be the ones experiencing this? Haha, don't mind this entry. T'is a crap! =)

Ambivalence

2006-08-16T20:42:00.000+09:00

Ambivalence

I got this title from our philo reading (due tomorrow, oral exam!) and I still don't know what the hell it means although I have haunches, you know. All I'm sure of is that I am experiencing the same phenomena, although it is not really in the religious aspect. Gee, I am pretty excited 'till our graduation day. Oops, that's too advance. Let's just say that I am so excited for this freakingly-raising-hell semester come to an end. But amidst these excitements are needles killing me day by day. Yeahhh, needles pinned all over my body and soul. LABO!

I missed my AEGIS photoshoot sign up, just had our financial eco exam, and still got three major exams coming. =(

It may be too tiring for all of us, seniors, but let's all think of Elijah! Gumising ka, Elijah! Haha.

Time's Up

2006-08-14T21:24:00.000+09:00

Time's Up

We've just had our Advanced Calculus/Intro to Real Analysis second exam. I studied diligently but I don't think it's enough. Imagine, I made the most out of my days memorizing and understanding all the theorems and proofs, but it really doesn't seem to make a difference from our previous exam. But it's okay, maybe it has served its purpose or I guess, it's all what I deserve at the moment.

By the way, I welc

Feared Week Ahead

2006-08-13T22:51:00.000+09:00

Feared Week Ahead

The worst one is coming. It would definitely raise hell to all of us. I just hope that this one would pass by at an instant. And I pray that this wouldn't be as painful as it's expected to be. Anyway, it would result to a long, hopefully peaceful, weekend, thank God.

Still, I really hope that this week's going to be over. Oops, I made a mistake, it has already started.

Unwanted Presence

2006-08-11T22:58:00.000+09:00

Unwanted Presence

How come I will be seeing you more often? Darn, why do you keep on coming back? I hate it when you invite your colleagues with you. You antagonizes everything. Why just now? But despite all the trouble you've caused me, I still thank you for being the way you really are. It's just that I couldn't bear it anymore. =(

Untitled

2006-08-07T23:30:00.000+09:00

Untitled

He is one of those who were never there, always lost and busy with silly and nonsense things whenever things go wrong. Coz he only enjoys hyping things up, which in turn always makes him realize how he's been hurting himself. Or maybe it's his other way of searching for his light in darkness. He rarely sees a flicker and this makes him vulnerable in stumbling with everybody else, as if he's sharing his darkness. Who knows, maybe one day he'll bump on with someone who could share the light that he's been looking for all this time.

Dazed Over the Week

2006-08-04T23:42:00.000+09:00

Dazed Over the Week

I have just experienced a one hell of a rollercoaster ride although there were just a few ups and mostly we're deadly downs. It was really exciting climbing up the railway, but scary descending it as I have ran out of breath. It was really unexplainable. I almost burst into tears realizing that it was an inevitable trip. Currently, numbness is all that I could feel. Dazed, or rather, shocked.

I wish that we could spend sometime together, longer and so much better after everything comes to an end. For now, I'll just drop by once in a while and see how everybody's doing. Thanks to those who cared enough, at the least moment I expected it.

Silly Thoughts Lately

2006-07-15T19:09:00.000+09:00

Silly Thoughts Lately

I wonder if this is already it, the end of everyone's teenage years, especially when the people around you dropped everything (like playing and having fun) and either talk about love, being serious or, more often than not, talk about the so-called future. Gee, it was not more than a year and a half now when my blockmates and I thought of our being immature for not being engaged to such phenomenon. And mind you, things are really going hell so fast, hell so rapidly.

Perhaps the so-called Senior's Syndrome - nah, we still have a year to go but for some, maybe it holds true. I am not really sure of this. Even those of the lower batches are really swamped with this thing called love. And it's really disturbing when it becomes the talk of the town and there you are, feeling out-of-place.

Is this the bandwagon nowadays that we all have to ride on ? Imagine, not a single person didn't ever mention a thing of the same context. Come on, isn't it weird when all of a sudden, people begins standing up and starts raising their ramblings about it.

This entry has nowhere to go. It's just that it seems really weird when everybody starts panicking as if it's the end of everything. And how contradicting that I started mentioning it all the way up here. I'm already becoming silly lately.

Just for Kicks

2006-07-04T21:30:00.001+09:00

Just for Kicks

I have been tagged by Patty, meaning she's requiring me to write 8 things/facts/habits about myself. And in the end, I have to pass this sort of "curse" (coz I have a bunch of pending urgent matters to settle yet I am here stuck with her little game) to six people (Hmm, I guess, I'm right about the curse now and why 6) by putting their names at the bottom part. Take note, there's an underlying rule, which is "no tags back." Silly game huh? Nah, let's just say that this is a break for me. Whew, after the long and tiring weeks of school. The former instruction must have been relatively easy, except for the latter one. But anyhow, just for kicks, I'm sending my regards and good luck to those who will be receiving this li'l curse. Peace!

First of, why eight? Gee, senseless question maybe so I might as well settle it asap. Anyway, you may find these things senseless either.

One. I lost seven pounds since last March. Does it show? I don't think so. Have I grown taller? Who cares. Am I conscious? Yes, definitely. Am I scared? Not really, I'm a hopeful person.

Two. There's only one person, maybe, whom I share the same passion with. I am talking about repertory plays. When I was young, I even thought of starring a musical, or even directing one of which. I remember the time when I did the role of Padre Salvi, in class, when I sang "Paring may sakit." Despite the lyrics in filipino, I really enjoyed it.

Three. This is in relation with number two. I am a frustrated singer. I love music, I love to sing but I can hardly hit the right note. And take note, even the right lyrics, I could hardly get. I am a composer, indeed.

Fourth. Let me add something to number three. It's about dancing as my major frustration. I guess, my wishbones and wings have something to do with this.

Fifth. I love movies, as everyone knows. It's one thing that I cannot live without. For as long as it's mind-boggling, then it's definitely fine with me. Don't worry, I am patient with chick-flicks and Filipino romantic films.

Sixth. I hate fruits being cooked, or just even heated. That's why Mcdonald's doesn't make a profit with their Apple Pie or with Jollibee's Peach-Mango Pie because I am really disgusted with it. Ohh, I should have put it this way: I love raw fruits. Even tomatoes, I love to eat it raw.

Seventh. Most of you wouldn't believe me on this but yes, I am very shy person. You just don't know how I put things up and exert those exaggerated confidence in me. After every which, I get too exhausted.

And lastly, eight. I love korean series! Haha, this must have been a big T.O. Oh well, just being honest here. =P

So there you go. Well said, I believe.

My apology to the one who came up with this curse for I will just be passing this on to four people I never knew. Anyway, here are the four unfortunate ones.

Ola6uv
roseaane
Rex
Jigs

They're the ones who kept my tagboard live. Thanks! =)

Trapped

2006-06-19T22:37:00.000+09:00

Trapped

I really couldn't understand why life seems unfair. I waited, always waited for the day that my life will turn up-side-down but nothing happens. Destiny, maybe. And I am just so sick of it. I feel so weak, so restless when I could do nothing but pretend that everything's alright. Well, I have gone a long way, this far and I can attest that I am already used to it.

Haha, beneath this unidentifiable laugh lies a melancholous heart. It really hurts when no one believes, no one seems to understand especially when everyone sees you as the boy who cried wolf. This is just one of the troughs of my life. Good night and thank God this first day high's over, Finally.

Summer Carino Brutal Loco

2006-06-16T11:49:00.000+09:00

Summer Carino Brutal Loco

One cannot really tell what's going on, especially when everything seemed fast-paced. I didn't make it to the TnT Committee, even in the Logistics Committee, which I believe is destined to happen. I got too swamped with my orgs' stuff. Imagine meeting here, meeting there, and meetings everywhere.

On one hand, it's quite peculiar that despite all these things raging inside my head, wracking my nerves and torturing my body, I am still enjoying my short break. Everything's tight since my last day at Union Bank. I never had the chance to rest and lame around inside our house but it's either I'm in school or along Katipunan, attending meetings. But still, I had the chance to spend time with my cousins and AJ. It's just that I regret missing AJ's first day of classes and breaking my promise of playing computer games with him.

And also, how could I miss the fun things about my blockmates. We ate at Don Henricos Restaurant at Tomas Morato, sang at the nearby KTV, and drank all the way up until dawn. We woke up around 1:30PM, to eat lunch, with all those bad hairdos. A week after, Tabs and Yats saw The Lake House.

And I have to make a toast for everybody: ehem ehem, I personally send my regards to the makers of The Lake House. It was really a perfect way to kick off this hell semester and to end this never-ending fun and excitement. Don't you dare miss it. And Oh, lastly, beware of the irritating sounds inside the cinema house.

Still, the fact still holds true. Even I cannot really say what's going on. It has been indeed a brief summer fun.

Wait, I missed two things that I never wished to talk about at this very positive moment. One's about my summer internship and the other's about my registration. Goodluck to all of the seniors this year! See you all in the graduation march! YEHEY!

Also, there's nothing about the title. Just for kicks. =)

Malabo

2006-05-25T14:00:00.000+09:00

Malabo

Several times did I ask myself if I should be regretful or not, for so many things that I do not intend to look back. It was as if I was caught in between so many thoughts that somehow have manipulated me for so long or that is currently manipulating me. Even at this very moment of siesta hour in the office, where all I could do is either continue my project or continue my project, still I feel like I am getting too far yet so near. The former would definitely make things easier and faster but the latter would make things better but longer. Damn, as I always tell myself, I am getting nuts with these crazy stuff.

Life is different inside the Union Bank Plaza. It was really far different from what I used to be into, the ateneo campus. I've got limited friends, more silent times, less happy moments. But seriously, I am just so thankful that I was able to deviate from my "normal" life in school. I'm growing, as my officemates would always say.

The only hard thing was, I never realized that it was not going to be that easy. I thought that this summer is going to be less hassle for me since there are only two courses that I'll be worrying about and take note that these courses don't have exams, quizzes, etc. Just requirements that are actually the ones making my life worse along with my extracurricular works. Yeah, workssss.

(Haha, I am not whining. I am just making a deep reflection about life and here ye't is!)

With all the sudden pressure that I am experiencing, I begin to realize things which are not concerned with the present but of the future. The what if's of an adult Christian Robert C. Canlas. I know that I have already thought of these things back then but right now, it's different. It's more serious, really serious.

I guess the best way to put it is through a fire alarm. Imagine yourself being trapped in a building caught on fire and all you could hear are the burning walls, exploding computers and other electronics, and the sound of a really panic"-able" fire alarm and at any second, you will die out of suffocation. Gee, that's too advance and harsh. I don't know, paranoid lang siguro ako.

Anyway, pagod lang siguro ito. Tomorrow's our graduation but I am not excited since I will be delivering a speech (damn), I will have to extend until next week to finish my paper on bonds and I will have to wait for another two weeks to receive our below-the-minimum allowance. Now, I am ranting.

Ciao ciao. Need to get back to work.

Bittersweetness

2006-05-15T19:17:00.000+09:00

Bittersweetness

It was my mom's day yesterday but how unkind of me that I spent the whole day in front of the computer, doing nothing but the first half of our critique. 'T was exaggerated maybe, but I know that we're all aware of how Tv can shift our attention, especially when I saw the new soap debut presentation, and, of course, who could repel the YM temptations. Yeah. Or maybe I should thank Caloy for making me feel its (yes, bcoz it's a typhoon) cold-relaxing breeze that almost made me fall asleep.

If you could only imagine how chaotic that day was for me and how regretful I have been for taking a lot of things for granted. But it's over, at least. It may have been gloomy, after all the down moments, contemplations and goodbyes but luckily, there were the happy ones that somehow pulled it off, especially the red spaghetti that paved way to a good, peaceful sleep.

How can I not mention the realizations that every tick of the clock has brought my heart. One is on how effective can tears and laughter make life less complicated. I tell you, it is!! Another is on how can things go inevitable all of a sudden, that will make you panic as if it's the end of the world. So act as early as now. And the most important of all, I guess, is that I have realized that bittersweetness, indeed, have a good after taste.

Let's make our lives less complicated.

Gee, I am already saying nonsense things here. Ciao.

Just an Update

2006-05-11T14:09:00.000+09:00

Just an Update

It's been a while since my last post. Gee, imagine, I got too preoccupied by a lot of things. And I have to make a clarification, yes, I am currently having my internship at Union Bank and at the same time, attending an eco class firstly in the morning. I wake up around 6:00-6:30am, go home around 10pm and sleep around 12midnight.

I am not really sure if I should be regretful for advancing a free elective course or just merely choosing the best and worthwhile M&B class. Shit. I am just thankful for UB for making my summer an extra fun.

Right now, I feel like I am losing my sight after missing several things that have briefly surpassed my awareness. I can still feel the breeze that Pampanga has left me with, the poison that has nearly wrecked my sanity, and something I don't want to know. In exchange for this was provided by my beloved Union Bank family (who, for some, never had been) like its merger with iBank.

There were so many things that I want to rant about, but it's not worth it.

Thanks to those messages that somehow pushed me to come up with this one. =)

A Brief Summer Fun

2006-04-13T00:35:00.000+09:00

A Brief Summer Fun

I never thought that I'm going to have a summer break. I had a final exam until the last week of March, then a lot of company interviews left and right. I also attended the ASLA TBS and a day after came the COA Planning and Formation Seminar. Afterwards, I had to attend meetings and interviews, again. And now, it's holy week and thank God there is time for rest and recreation. Soon, finally, my internship will commence around 8:30 at Union Bank Plaza. Whew.

Nevertheless, you know what? I can't really help but reminisce on how meaningful this summer break has been. It was a bit different and messy at first, pero the situation and activities have somewhat pulled it off. And it's just damn amazing.

ASLA TBS

I expected a never-ending chitchat and group dynamics, but no, it has been a fun learning philosophical experience. I thought of different forms of relaxation that could somehow make me forget of my philo, but no, every single nerve nearly wrecked inside me thinking of how things are going for all of us. I almost gaged of the question, "Where is the group now?" We all did, I guess. But all in all, it's really fun. We didn't have enough sleep but Nash, JQ and I still managed to drop by Tagaytay and have coffee at Starbucks and Carlos' Pizza. Thanks to them! Haha. ASLA TBS has been too brief, but really ceased all the tensions surmounting me. I once said right after, "okay na ang bakasyon ko," pero hindi pa pala.

COA FormSem

It was held in Paradise Hotel at Sitio Cabading Boso-Boso Highlands. Kamusta naman, pangalan pa lang, nakakatawa na. At first, I had hesitations since I got tired from the ASLA TBS and I feared of the group that I am going to be with for four days. I didn't know them personally, but all I know is that they're all presidents of their respective organizations. Imagine, it's going to be a four-day no-tv weak-suncel-signal! Gosh, I thought it was going to be boring but it wasn't. It was indeed the other way around. I never had so much fun. In fact, I didn't really fall asleep during the talks. In fact, instead, I was near to tears when Mr. Lawrence Cruz presented his "Wake-up-there-is-a-monster-and-rejoice" talk. There were a lot of memorable, inspiring and fun moments. There is group life, if I may put it bluntly. How can I forget the Karaoke nighout, the Socials, Roxy, the Alamat ng Lechon, our Mafia nights, the planning, all the luncheons and dinners, the merienda that we used to make fun of, the laughter, the V for Vendetta and a lot more. It was never really that fun and exciting for all the presidents to interact and be open about kahit na naging Mayor Superstar ako. Like what Tatot said, it's like a miracle to have the best COA ever.

Tagaytay Blues

Lou and I, out of the blue, met at Jollibee Katipunan. I came from a company interview early morning and had a meeting with ASLA peeps late in the afternoon. I was feeling so tired but we've thought of dropping by Niki's place. When we got there, we had a brief talk and agreed to celebrate Kaye's upcoming birthday. We found no Kaye around since she left for Baguio a few minutes earlier and just had Anthony by our side. We hung out at MiniStop Convergys talking and talking until midnight. We parted with the idea of spending our sunday together (four of us) at Tagaytay for an "ocular inspection." Ehem, we know what that means! Anyway, I slept over Lou's place friday night, spent my saturday afternoon at home with my family. We met around 5:30 sunday morning at Niki's place and drove all the way to Tagaytay. We had 3 stops for the whole day: Jollibee SLEX, Rest House, and Mochablends.

Upon arriving at the rest house, we gambled with pusoy dos and it's just for kicks! Niki and I took a nap while Lou and Ants bought our luncheon meal. We ate the famous bulalo and Ant's best corned beef and toasted with warm Pepsi max. What should we be worried of? There's no sugar anyway. Haha. After lunch, we took pictures, played basketball and we even managed to take a bath. Sarap... We're all feeling fresh when we left and drove to leslies. We were ocular inspectors indeed. We inspected the vicinity, took pictures and mess around. At sunset, we found ourselves seated at Mocha Blends for a dinner and serious personal chitchat. After a few moments, we went to the rooftop to continue our discussion and "our way of killing time." Yeah, we sat there and finally felt the need to bring Niki home around past 8:15.

Ants, the driver, Lou, the co-pilot and driver's entertainer, Niki, the photographer and I, the wala-lang, were really happy and amazed on how the day had been for all of us. We actually didn't expect that it's going to be really fun! In fact, one thing I cannot forget, sa sobrang antok ko, I just woke up and realized na we're lost along Bicutan. Buti nalang magaling ang drivers namin. Haha. Hay, it was really fun and inspiring.

Oh well, all I can say is, it may have been a short vacation for me but indeed it's one of the best. I will never have it exchanged for a long boring one especially back in HS when I had two months of vacation and all I did was to sleep and watch TV. Now, I am just waiting for my summer internship to commence at Union Bank 8:30 monday. Some things run into my mind, am I going to miss classes? This is one thing that I will write about after everything. Thank God for the blessings!

multiply?

Playing with Adobe!

2006-04-08T20:08:00.001+09:00

Playing with Adobe!

Grab my hand for a wonderful creation! Yehey, my first Adobe work! Despite the buzzee hours, amidst the tiring moments, in lieu of doing paperworks and never-ending rendezvous, luckily, there's Adobe P to ponder on! And I have to agree, that, patience is indeed a virtue. Who would realize that with intense passion and dedication, everything will come to reality? Gee, I'm already making nonsense out of these.

Anyway, thanks to Maja and co. for the pictures.Pictures were taken during the ASLA TBS at BPS in Cavite. =)

Numb

2006-03-27T18:53:00.000+09:00

Numb

After the long day of walking fast under the heat of the sun, being caught in extremities, laughing with my interviewer Ivie, and bonding with Rhea and Paeng at Megamall, out of an impetuous stupidity, I missed my Philo oral exam.

...

This will be the last, I promise.

A Fresh 'tart

2006-03-22T17:11:00.000+09:00

A Fresh 'tart

I spent hours stealing moments of expressing my thoughts and doing everything and anything under the sun. And up to now, I still am. One hundred moments have passed and yet, things have never changed.

For how long will this be? No one knows. Rest assured, it will go for eternity.

Just look on how things have been; I never thought that it would go this far after almost a year. It should be enough, I guess, for me to start all over again. I have begun my journey as I started to sail back; hopefully, there is no turning back.

Thanks for all the happy moments and challenges.
Are you with me?

This is the first, after the 100 most cacophonies cherished.

The 9th Finals

2006-03-21T23:59:00.000+09:00

The 9th Finals

I could hardly look back and feel how amazing things have been. I am referring to this day, the most memorable of all. In less that 40 minutes since I left home as early as 6:00am, I found myself studying at one corner of the college caf. I am not a geek or any, excuse me, I was just preparing for my final 3 judgment hours in no more than 10 hours today. Gee, I am already playing with numbers. Anyway, first of, I continued browsing my theo notes from last night's one-hell-of-pure-memorization exercise. Oops, it was Toni's notes pala.

Grabe, I can't really describe it. The exam's comprehensive so I almost memorized around 50+ terminologies on Human sexuality, Marriage and Family life. I was expecting an objective type of exam, meaning identification, enumeration... etc., but no! Imagine, the exam, although objective, was matching type! Oh well, up to now, I can't say if it's really frustrating or not. I am just thankful that it didn't give me headache although the true/false part has used up some of my braincells. Next up, history.

Although not comprehensive, I devoted my 2 days (out of the 3-day grant) going over my notes (and so niki's handout) and the long history readings summing up to 1-inch thickness. Again, I expected an identification type, but unfortunately a modified true/false appeared. By the time I submitted my answers, I guess, my braincells were greatly reduced to 50%. Do you think it would be sustainable to end this day with a comprehensive math exam? I don't really think so.

I was left with half an hour to refresh my halved memory on euler's algorithm, newton's method of solving diffy ques, same with the undetermined coefficients and variation of parameters... etc. The good thing was, I didn't panic. Not at that very moment, maybe right after. I sat in front of SECA208A for 2 hours, writing and solving equations. Instead of having a severe headache, I had a trembling right hand. Imagine, I started this day writing long essays since 9:30, nonstopping and super exaggerated.

Anyway, enough of the rants.

This one-hell-of-an-incredible day was a blast. At last! The moment that I have been waiting for has come into play! Yey, one more to go... mamilosopiya na!

Gratis

2006-03-20T21:37:00.000+09:00

Gratis

Today's free. I had no scheduled final exam although I proctored a ma12 exam. Toni and I had a lunch date at Jollibee and it was free of charge. No, it wasn't her treat. It was Sir Durwin's little token of appreciation for my effort in being with his students during the final exam. Two hundred bucks for a luncheon meal? Nah, it has been ambitiously real. I ate a chicken joy meal, with extra rice and a large iced tea, plus a regular yum meal with large fries and another large iced tea and a chocolate sundae desert. Damn, it was really unbelievable. My tummy shouldn't really be underestimated. On my way home, I photocopied Toni's theo notes, and again, it was for free. No, again, it's not her treat. It's Erick's. Of course... Haha.

During sunset, Niki and I studied at Mocha Blends Berkeley. I ordered Mocha frost but it wasn't free of charge. I paid for it although I had a free ride home, courtesy of Niki.

Gratis, as anyone would say. What a nice way to meet Ms. One-day-three-compre-final-exam day tomorrow. I'd better start browsing Toni's notes. G'nyt!

One-time Big-time

2006-03-19T00:09:00.000+09:00

One-time Big-time

I found myself staring at the wall for minutes after going over the long history readings. Imagine, I almost got a stiffneck. I needed a break so here I am, checking my emails and updating this blog. I never wished to rant about how weird my finals week is gonna be, but for the sake of taking note how memorable it will be, as always, I will write about it.

Last year's finals week was a disaster. I had an influenza and I never had the chance to study and prepare for accounting, linear algebra, and another one I forgot final exams. That was so hell-ly and disastrous for me, but on a side note, it's really fun that I've had a rare experience like that.

This time, despite my good shape, is not really different. I am having all of my written exams in one day, in which 2 are comprehensive! And I am just given 3 damned days to prepare. Goodluck nalang... grabe, I don't know if I should be happy since it's one-time big-time and there are a lot of readings and things to memorize! Differential equations pa naman ang isa...

I wonder why finals week seems so kind and generous to me.

You are Beautiful

2006-03-17T17:04:00.000+09:00

You are Beautiful

I was busy cramming for my report when suddenly, my cousin gave me a buzz. She invited me to visit their exhibit at the Rizal Library. Luckily, the next day, I had to meet an errand at the Filipiniana Section, which was actually near the exhibit area, so I was able to pay a visit and it was really fun.

To my astonishment, I saw a lot of digitally-made artworks (err, I don't know if that's how they call it). In fact, the exhibit was extraordinarily amazing. And among those cool stuff that they have shown like the 1000journals, what caught my attention was the YouAreBeautiful part.

Parang masaya at masarap sa pakiramdam. It's not because I was the one being referred to, ahem excuse me, but it was the optimism that it serves everyone who was able to read it. It seems really fun being an advocate of encouraging and empowering people. Of course, at the same time, making them happy, in a way. AHEM.

Upon leaving the library, I suddenly remembered my philo classes. Argh, I will miss philo!

Actually, this is my second entry for the day. Isn't it obvious how deprived I was for the past weeks? Thank God, I only have the final exams left. Soon, I will be free again! Summerfun here I come!

Back to the Future

2006-03-17T12:13:00.001+09:00

Back to the Future

About me...

This week has been a log-jam experience. Everything seemed calm at first but eventually, I ended up realizing how disastrously fast has it been. Now, I am back with so many things that have changed. And I don't want to bring it back, not anymore, nor do I want to think of a single piece of it.

And you...

Forgive me if I couldn't look back and adapt to your surrounding. There are just so many things I wish to preserve, I wish to remember. I may be caught in between those extremities, don't worry; it's just my little way of exhibiting the pits in me.

I just wish to bring you back to the future.

The Plot

2006-03-08T17:10:00.000+09:00

The Plot

It has finally begun.

The crucial-most month for all Ateneans is currently being celebrated in coffee shops, in front of each one’s desktop computer, laptop, and other gadgets including cellular phones. Yes, communication is playing a big part in their lives. Whining here, ranting there. Everybody's tired and nauseous of papers, exams, reports and all sorts. But one may never know that the utmost shortcoming this month is love. How ironic, after the heart's day and fete everywhere comes the opposite.

Anyway, March is the fire prevention month since everyone's fiery.

And I made it.

I blew it off, yes. Instead of finishing my Theo paper, here I am, composing a new entry for no apparent reason. All I am aware of is this unidentifiable sadness that has engulfed and is currently engulfing me.

And I was wrong.

There were so many things that I never thought that I would never know. Everything seemed really farfetched at first but as I choose to swim deeper and longer, the more I loom into the surface. Life's really ironic and I find it really silly and annoying yet so much interesting.

And it's still the same.

Divulging this simple cacophonous life continues to serve its purpose but no one seems to live by it. But on the verge of all these, I wish to sail back and hopefully, there is no turning back.

Should I come into conclusion? I don't know. I just have to let go for the meantime. AHEM! ♣

A Happy Ending, Maybe

2006-02-25T21:34:00.000+09:00

A Happy Ending, Maybe

It's really hard to end something you haven't even started.

I found myself sitting on the third floor of SEC A, waiting for someone to pay a visit and at least try my own little game, factoring with tiles. An hour has passed yet there were only two groups that I have enlisted, so far. Despite my unpleasant state, I still managed to kick off this tiring, heart-pounding day.

And right at that very moment of waiting, I suddenly got trapped in all sorts of thoughts that were haunting me for months now. I feel so empty yet so many things keep on pouring in, hammering my head. I have never been like this before, nor did I dream to be in such position. But amidst all these, I have made a decision, that is, to end something I haven't even started. The problem is, I don't know how.

Maybe I should start thinking of something else.

Melancholy Sunset

2006-02-24T12:57:00.000+09:00

Melancholy Sunset

Everyday is Another Sunset

Several times did I find my eyes trying to sneak out, but it hardly could. Even did my ears trying to capture the vibrations coming from the tick the clock, wondering if it’s time to rise up and begin another tiring day. But in totality, it was a big failure.

Luckily, there's a coup attempt and classes were suspended. Damn great, isn't it?

I would definitely have to agree with it. Not because I am going to be messing all day inside the house, since I going to miss the bonus paper on Cory Aquino’s talk for my history class, but surely it will be a celebration to all of us, Filipinos. Mabuhay ang diwa ng EDSA!

I'm pretty sure that all of us are already looking forward on what will happen by the end of this day. Will it be the same lethargic day or a spectacular one that could wreck every single nerve on us? I just hope that the latter would prevail. And this has been a usual scenario, another usual thought, as always.

I wish I have my own EDSA day for me to celebrate that could at least cause a drastic blast on my life. The more I wait, the more I become silly and irritating to my loving block mates. Love remains unconditional, mali ba ako?

Hearts, Clubs and Spades

2006-02-23T12:23:00.000+09:00

Hearts, Clubs and Spades

I went home late last night, happy...

... and it has been so weird.

I ate, showed my mom those silly dance moves and finally settled on the couch, watching PBB. And it has never been so eerie.

Thanks to the DeeJay for making his way of sympathizing with me, and to the ChickGirl for making me realize the consequences of being a hopeless romantic. And I am just thankful that my block mates aren’t cry babies at all.

I want to make a toast to Kai, for our discoveries.

Scupidity

2006-02-20T12:58:00.000+09:00

Scupidity

I am almost a twelfth done with my nineteenth year, yet the rest of it remains suspiciously annoying. I thought I am going to love each and every detail of it, waiting day-by-day and night-by-night until a spanking surprise come to me and say, “Hey, what a wonderful year for you!” But I was wrong. All of my hopes and aspirations suddenly faded each second as I look forward to this nerve-racking year ahead of me.

Eleven months left, I can hardly wait. I wish I could just make a great leap at this very moment up to the day I turn 20. I wrote to Twenty and I am eating my words now. I wish to see her soon! I wish to forget everything that has happened, that’s happening and that will happen. I just couldn’t stand every single piece of it.

Yesterday was a real off-school day for me. I woke up late, went to the family reunion (through Khyle’s Baptism), visited my cousin CJ and nephew AJ, attended the mass celebration at St. Joseph and had an exciting and memorable marathon with ‘Memoirs of A Geisha’ and ‘Proof.’ I slept around two in the morning, contemplating on the movies I have seen.

‘Memoirs of A Geisha’ is a great masterpiece. It’s a so-so for most people and I can’t figure out why. Maybe this is because I haven’t read the book, which I will never dare to do but for me, even though it’s quite predictable, it’s one of the best movies I have seen. I somehow regret seeing it through a pirated DVD, which didn’t seem pirated (Labo). I should have waited for it to be shown on the big screen.

Same thing with ‘Proof.’ I loved it despite the fact that I didn’t like the story. The plot was so simple yet the way they narrated it in the film was superb. A standing ovation should be given for the cinematography, for Gwyneth and Anthony, for the screenplay and for the director’s exquisite way of showing the sense out of the film. I really loved the flashbacks and the way each scene shifted to another. And of course, who could have missed the luscious ingredient for a math major, the proof itself, even though it was not thoroughly shown and elaborated.

I slept late out of an intense paranoia. And guess what, I have realized that writing your thoughts on paper is an effective way in relieving stress. It's also like transferring your memories on paper. Want an effective way to forget a memorable and bugging experience? Just write your thoughts on a piece of paper and ignore all the grammatical errors and stuff, and once you're done, it's either you keep it or throw it directly to the bin. Just make sure that you won't be able to read it again, for whatever you've written and read will stay with you for eternity.

I woke up with a severe headache. I dunno why.

What is IT?!

2006-02-13T21:03:00.000+09:00

What is IT?!

Philosophy is indeed philosophia.
Day after day, I get so in love with it!
I am just too excited to our last day of classes.

Something to ponder on:

Someone accidentally bumped on somebody.
Someone apologized and said sorry.
Somebody replied, "No problem, it's okay."

My $1-million question is: What's IT?

Rising from the Dead

2006-02-12T20:22:00.000+09:00

Rising from the Dead

Eighteen days have been so long yet too short for me to realize that I am insanely losing focus. Yes, I have said it right. I have made several attempts to post an entry but I just simply couldn’t. And I want to break this silence, not to continue updating my readers (like Mal and everybody) but to update myself of what’s currently running inside of my head for the past 500 hours of staying out of this peripheral cacophonous life of mine.

I am keeping my feet back on the ground, looking forward that one day I could learn from all these things that’s happening in my life.

So many things have passed by without a word from me so let me enumerate them one by one. These were the things that in their occurrence, have somewhat struck the innermost senses in me.

The Stampede

If there’s someone to be blamed for the stampede incident, then that’s none other than the people who went to the Ultra. And I am going to speak out in Filipino, in response to what my Philo teacher says May Talab!

“Bakit hahayaan ng tao na magpaalipin sa isang sistemang nagpapaigting ng kanilang katamaran? Tama ang sinabi sa Misa, ang taong bayan ay unti-unti nang nawawalan ng pag-asa. Hindi na sila nagpapakatao, hindi na sila nagmemeron, at hinahayaan nalang nilang sila’y hamakin, alipustahin at kontrolin ng mga taong may-at-nasa kapangyarihan. Paano at papaano? Hindi na bago ang ganitong pangyayari sa kasaysayan. Ibaling mo man mula pa sa panahon bago dumating ang mga kastila, wala pa ring ipinag-iba. Ganoon pa rin, Bitin!”

Whew… I have had to cut it short, my heart’s already palpitating. Exagg… yeah but you know what I have realized about this incident? Bakit likas sa Pilipino ang magturuan at ipasa ang sisi sa iba? Hmm, now I am really appreciating my Philo and Histo classes. Thanks to Sir Roy and Miss Habana!

The Elections

I really couldn’t stand the apathy that certain Ateneans have. Damn, I couldn’t see the elite personality in them. And you know what I have heard from these people? Well, wala raw kasing nagagawa at wala silang ganang bumoto. For heaven’s sake, the office/anything wouldn’t come to you and say “hello, ito na ginagawa namin!” Shouldn’t you be the one observing and getting yourself updated regarding what’s happening around you? Darn, regarding the elite-ness, well, walang pinag-iba to most Filipinos: Always complain, complain and complain. Shit talaga, hindi pwedeng iyong mga officers lang ang gagawa ng paraan to reach out and make people know what they’re doing but also the constituents who care, participate and do they’re sole responsibility, that is, to actively take part to the group that they wished to belong to. This is in general, as usual.

And let me thank those AMS people who took part in the elections. To those who made their way to the Matteo-Ricci Hall out of their busy days just to vote. Thank you for your support. I just hope to see you next roller-coaster year for all of us! Let’s all count together! =)

My Movie Marathon

I have just seen three romantic movies this weekend. Thanks to Nons. Well, it feels great to be in-love. Cheers to a more day-dreaming and to all sorts of dreams!

The PBB Celebrity Edition

Again and again, the show has gained my interest as it gives me relief from my everyday stress. Well, as usual, some of the housemates are damn boring but on the other hand, some are really funny. It may not seem so relevant but the good thing is, I am getting to know some things about me. Labo! To ease things out, you know Rico right? Well, I could somehow relate to his current undertakings and I honestly sympathize with him. There’s so much that he has to prove and I don’t wish to have him out this Saturday. But the f***ing thing is, what should we expect this coming Saturday? Well, it’s probable that he’s going out but I am keeping my fingers crossed. Oh well… the hell I care. Anyway, I watch it in lieu of my support for Bianca. GO BIANCA! She’s my cass this season!

Post Birthday Thingies

I would like to thank Nons for the Sneakers, and heart gummies, whatever you call it. Also, thanks to Patty for the clearbook. See? Gifts never stop pouring in and I hope that it wouldn’t stop!

Valentines Day

No comment. I don’t want to talk about how cold it’s going to be, coz I promise myself that IT WILL NOT BE despite the busy week that’s coming up, soon!

What’s up?!

Micro 2nd LT on Hearts’ day.
History Report on Friday.
Meetings, left and right.
My Philo Syn(thesis)
Papers, papers, papers.
Valentines Day.
Close to you.

Whew… Let’s see what we can do. Six weeks to go! Yahoooooo!

A Dispatch

2006-01-25T23:14:00.000+09:00

A Dispatch

Dear Twenty,

How are you? I know that you can hardly wait ‘til we meet each other. At the moment, I am having fun with Nineteen. She seems to be really nice since gifts don’t seem to stop pouring up to this very hour. Ms. Nicole David and Ms. Patricia Gonzales should be remembered for this. Even though I had a bad exam with Differential Equations early this morning, and I have two long tests coming up for the rest of this week, don’t worry because I am really having a great time. So don’t rush this early. Relax.

Thank God, I am over with Eighteen.

Signed by me.

______________________

**Life’s ironically damn great!

My 19th 21st!

2006-01-23T23:18:00.000+09:00

My 19th 21st!

I couldn’t really find time to compose an entry nowadays. Aside from the frenzied everyday life that I have in school, I am also having this chaotic lifestyle at home. There’s so many things I want to do but 24 hours don’t seem enough. Anyway, if it’s not only my birthday, then most probably I wouldn’t care composing this one.

Enough of the rants.

Yey, finally, I’m 19.
And I want to thank the following people who welcomed me and be with me as I kicked off my last teenage year. Within the first minutes, there’s Rach, Toni, Patty, Hansel, Chel (my birthday bud); Within the first 6 hours, there’s Mark Eds and Yahoo; Within the day, there’s Niki, Abi, Clang, Steph, Joy, Birch, Lou and Joyce; Those who were late, like Concon, Lizet, Jelline, Wamar, J-M and Carlos. And of course, the earliest among everyone who greeted me days before my birthday, Sheryl. To those who I missed to write here, you just know who you are… Thanks!

Super thanks to you guys.

I also would like to thank Philo for making me stay awake until 6:00AM on my birthday. To Aghamon, for making me spend my birthday with the brightest students of Metro Manila, and of course, I would like to thank my bed for giving me the best sleep of my life, for the 16-straight-hour sleep.

Also, thanks to Abi for the Starbucks Gift Check, Bench Shirt and the Interview tips-sheet. Thanks to Adri, for the delayed but super-timely belated Christmas gift – Adidas perfume. Thanks to Mal, for the grandest gift I have received, a jumbo Cadbury Fruits and Nut Chocolate bar! Even if it’s 2 days late, well, you’ve just made me so happy Lering! Damn, you’re so great! Thanks!

Now, I will go to sleep messed with chocolate melts. Yummy!

Friday the 13th

2006-01-13T22:54:00.000+09:00

Friday the 13th

I was on my way to school when all of a sudden I have noticed that people are wearing black shirts. Exaggerated maybe but I really couldn’t help thinking about it. Oh well, maybe it was just due to my morning illness. Yes, I had to cut my first class coz I was not really feeling well. It was only when I got to school that I have realized that it’s Friday the thirteenth. Darn.

It’s quite interesting to note that this is the 2nd Friday the thirteenth this school year. Thank God, I have taken note of the cacophonous day that was. So I had to somehow reminisce a bit and see if there’s an awkward similarity.

Here's what I have written on the 13th of May, 2005, Friday.

Darn. O. M. G.
I was not able to update my blog this week, got sleepy in most of my classes. Quite the same, but some things were somehow altered a bit. First, although I never had a quiz today, I had a graded recitation and I barely got a 2.5, which is also half-way mark (meaning, it’s like the 5/10 since in our philo recitation, we’re just being given either a 4.0, 2.5, or a 0.0). Second, I saw an angel, the most amazing angel that I have seen. Ewan ko ba, these days, I used to see her everyday. Third, I wasn’t late for my first class, but I was absent. Fourth, nothing seemed to be depressing today since I became so productive, in a way. I’m not expecting any exam but a paper. Fifth, I was never as parsimonious today (oooh, I’m becoming a sesquipedalian blogger!). Then blah blah… And lastly, I have to be in school tomorrow for three things: One, I have to go to the Lib and research. Two, I have to attend the Ateneo HS Math Club project since we’re giving a talk about our home org. Third, I have to go to Nikki’s house and finish our histo paper.

Well, I may not look so busy but to tell you, damn, my first hell week this year will be on the week of my birthday. Argh. But looking on the brighter side, I guess, it’s just a good way of kicking off my last teenage year. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

You’re just too obvious. I understand you. Well, it’s my fault. You’re naiilang, and I know it’s not getting any better. Maybe I should set some distance in order to help you cope with it, and ease the ilang feeling. Well, I guess, things will never be same again. It’s just so sad to think, but I guess I have to accept the consequences of my actions. Again, I am so sorry for breaking your trust, and for ruining our good friendship.

A sesquipedalian ass, rather.

"When all is said and done, more is said than done."

A Mediocre Day

2006-01-08T16:53:00.000+09:00

A Mediocre Day

This morning, to my astonishment, I found myself occupying someone else’s bed. I can still feel the Jerbaxx spirit running through my veins, invading all the sanity in me. I've held my head, relieving the headache and trying to remember last night’s memories. Oh, yeah, it was Kuya Moi’s birthday party last night. Should I blame Kaye for introducing me this kind of demonic drink? Nah, at least I was able to meet new great friends, Ria and Diana. The night must have been so harsh, at the peak of emotions. Thanks, Mal, for wasting your time hearing all of my nonsense rants.

Oh well, I just miss the days.

Triotic Night Out

2006-01-06T23:59:00.000+09:00

Triotic Night Out

I could call it a night after I spent my 6 hours with two of my best buds, Jelline and Heindrick. Thanks to you guys. We’re supposed to hangout as a block at Drew's but for some weird reasons, we’re down to three and we ended up at Heindrick's place. Whew, what a trio chaotic night out. Yeah, it has been one hell of an incredible night for the three of us. Well, now I must say that quality should never be jeopardized with quantity.

Thanks to Mcdo, Nova, Chabi, 7-11, RH (3 1000ml!), Nagaraya, Oishi, and Piatos. Damn, how on earth was I able to take note of these to think that I have just gone home, quite… you know.

Well, it must have been because of our need to take a break. Yeah, I have been so stupid for being so paranoid with the line “We’re okay.” Well, I misinterpreted it out of paranoia and stupidity. Damn, what an MTO. Shit.

But still, I can’t let you go out of my head.

Damn, I am such a pain in the ass. No matter how I hate myself for being so irritating and annoying, the fact that I am aware of it, I couldn't really help it and that's the damn worst thing of all.

Forgive me for being such a ludicrous brat.

Whew… it’s 06 at Last!

2006-01-05T18:47:00.000+09:00

Whew… it’s 06 at Last!

How can I miss the first five days of this year without a single entry? Damn, it’s sooo weird. Oh well, I guess, that’s a good way for me to kick off this year, as I look forward to this incredible roller-coaster year.

I’ve gone too busy daydreaming lately. I’ve been engulfed by such complicated ideas, things that you could never imagine. Oh well, it’s kinda over, at least.

Yeah, I gave it an imprudent blast.

It has served its purpose, I hope. I don’t know if I’m speaking in behalf of a sarcastic remark but, I guess, what I did is the right thing. To think that I have had it hidden for more than a year, who could have thought of slipping it abruptly and foolishly? Damn, I deserve a slap on my face. Wake up, wake up you silly boy!

I’ve had to let it go, not for the sake of acquiring something but for the sole purpose of closing this chapter of my life. I know it has been so strange but I just couldn’t help saying it. I’ve been too daft, harsh and egotistic on you, that I couldn’t forgive myself for giving you such a hassle. And for everything I have caused you, it would be my apology.

Oh, there’s one more thing…

I really adore you for no specific reason. And that I can never bring to a halt. You’d better kill me for this. Thanks for being so kind and beautiful.

Damn, I’ve gone a way too off. What an entry, the first for this year.
Whew… anyway, it’s 06, finally.

I have thought of changing my form of writing into something I can hardly think of but, I guess, it won’t do anything good in bringing the cacophony out of me. So I might as well do whatever I want to, since in some better ways, this serves as a relief. Whew…

The Last for 2005

2005-12-31T11:31:00.000+09:00

The Last for 2005

How can I thank the emotions that pushed me to create this cacophony? This year has been a good one, but the worst. I’ve gone through all kinds of few ups and mostly downs. How can I thank my friends who were there to cheer me up? How can I thank myself for keeping me sane? How can I thank you for being there in existence with me?

How can I forget my extraordinary OrSem experience? I was able to meet two great freshie blocks. One’s the coolest Block X, and the other’s the Bobo E13. Darn, I miss you guys. I don’t want to end this year without saying a few words.

Block X

I think I have met the coolest peeps in town. How can I believe that different individuals can actually jive into two days of fun and tiring experience? Being a new TnT was never that easy, especially if you don’t have the capacity to establish a certain connection among everybody and at least, initiate a spark that could make everyone moving. Yeah, it has been so difficult to force someone to run at his best during MOB time. How can I forget the pasaways: Gaston, Mikko, Billy and Xandee? Also, how can I forget the lovely girls of the block who never stopped laughing and making fun of the guys? How can I forget the ever-curious-einsteinious Reinzy, with his ever weird gesture? Kidding aside, how can I forget their block who have somewhat made me happy for at least 2 days of this incredible year? And for the conferences that came after that, the block’s lingo vocabs, and the monthsaries, how can I forget those? They’re sooo cool. No word can exactly match the experience I have had since I became a master, for the first time. They’re one-hell-of-a-block-bestfriends-and-classmates since then but I don’t know if they still are. How could have I imagined that theirs is the best and the unbreakable? I just can’t imagine how can one be detached from this perfect circle just because of a single misunderstanding? Have they forgotten everything, all the moments they been together and just gave it all up in a piece of shitty crap? Oh cmon. I don’t think so. How can I change the perception I’ve had in my inner consciousness, that their block is still the unbreakable, the best? Nada, I know you can work that out kiddoes!

Bobo E13

How can I forget the block that wrecked every single nerve in me, haha, in a positive way? For me, it was a pleasure to be challenged on the final hell-day of OrSem where everybody was tired and edgy. Darn, amidst all these, who am I to imagine that you’ll be coined as the Bobo E13? You’re all amazing, thanks for being a part of my life.

...

This is what I like most about the end of the year, it’s fun reminiscing.

Right then and then, should I close this chapter of my book? I am not so sure. There were a lot of things that happened, a lot of memories to ponder on. Although everything seemed to be a blur beyond the single momentous seconds of my year, there’s one thing I am quite really sure of, that is, I have grown up to a better person, a better friend, a better individual. Thanks to this year of the monkey? Shit, tama ba? Haha.

Oh well, as this year comes to an end, I would like to make some resolutions for the coming year of the dog.

As much as possible, I will try my best to be on-time.
I will be more disciplined, strict and focused.
I will be eating more than a lot.
Each day will be a new day.
I will start saving money ASAP.
I will start fighting all the demons, no matter how much time it will take.
Can I be on the Dean’s List, please?

These were so lame. Am I too old for a New Year’s resolution? At first, I felt so excited but upon writing it down, I became lost for words. Oh well, they might not look like resolutions but still, I’d be able to say something for this year.

Last.

Last night, I couldn’t sleep but kept on reflecting about something. I’ve made my word to myself, it can wait. But why can’t I let go? If I am going to let it wait, then I’m making the biggest mistake of my life, that I will be regretting for eternity, I guess. Can it just be an exaggeration? Love really moves us in mysterious ways…

This is such a good thing to leave the past, and kick-off for the coming peculiar year.

Shit, I've been too wordy in my blogs...

Signing off...

Schmaltzy-ness

2005-12-30T13:46:00.000+09:00

Schmaltzy-ness

I could hardly say how dramatic I have been for the past days not until I have read my cousin’s blog. In fact, I didn’t know that I was already writing a level-5 drama anthology. Oh my, I was near to laughter that time but when I have read the entire entry, the laughter somewhat has been transformed into sadness.

I totally agree with her definition of emptiness and I am quite sure that she’s feeling the same way, or somehow, have felt something similar in the past. Knowing this gives me a smile; a sense of fulfillment that at least there’s one being who understands me.

And I don’t agree with her sense of being unwanted and not-needed. There are reasons why we don’t try to reach out for the significant people in our lives. You may not understand me now, but eventually, if time permits, you will understand. I know that this will definitely sound too shallow, but I just can’t let it slip away. Again, you will eventually know it by then. Oh cmon, how can I forget you, my best bud?!

How can a song penetrate my soul, to the point that it will untie all the knots and let me break-free? Nah, is this the so-called mushiness? Yikes.

Let me just put it this way: Toni (my block mate) gave me a pillow, as shown, and this has created bunch of chit-chats. With this, I know that you already know what I mean. Thankfully, my mama is too advance and too open about it, so at least I was able to break it out. Should I have answered ‘hopefully’ when she asked me if I have a girlfriend? Hmm. Anyway, thanks to Nons, for the pillow.

Well, I can see the pain in you
And I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

I really want to talk about it, but I still want to have it unleashed.

if I was to give in - give it up- and then
take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one that could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

NOTE: Everything written here is beyond our control so let’s not put a grip on it and leave it just as it is. Oh Please. Wah! People are getting nuts this holiday break! Christmas has gone sooo cold.

Angels Or Devils

2005-12-28T23:43:00.000+09:00

Angels Or Devils

I went to the watscommon reunion, to at least forget what's happening around me. But for some weird reasons, it still became a topic for us to dwell into. They had fun, maybe and I still found myself so naive about it. I can't really help thinking and reflecting on things. We dined in at Bacolod's Inasal, then left to SM. I bought 2 wallets, one for me and the other's for my dad. Then, we ate dinner at Tokyo Tokyo. I came home tired and still, lonely. Listening to one of my favorite songs somewhat helps me discern since it somehow speaks on my behalf. Oh well...

this is the last time

that I'm ever gonna come here tonight

this is the last time - I will fall

into a place that fails us all - inside

Well, I can see the pain in you

And I can see the love in you

but fighting all the demons will take time

it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us

are we ever

are we ever gonna learn to fly

the devils they burn inside of us

are we ever gonna come back down come around

I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

this is the last time that I'm ever gonna give in tonight

are there angels or devils crawling here?

I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see

still I can see the pain in you

and I can see the love in you

and fighting all the demons will take time

it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us

and are we ever

are we ever gonna learn to fly

the devils they burn inside of us

are we ever gonna come back down - come around

I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

if I was to give in - give it up- and then

take a breath - make it deep

cause it might be the last one you get

be the last one that could make us cold

you know that they could make us cold

I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

This is how my heart beats at the spur of this moment.

Courtesy of Dishwalla... Hail!

A Merry Christmas

2005-12-27T03:51:00.000+09:00

A Merry Christmas

On Christmas Eve

As usual, I spent quality time with my family, with our clan, the Cervantes. I tend to be so speechless talking about how amazing it has been. I think I was happy then, but I felt something missing. There’s this emptiness I have felt during those times, from the mass celebration up to the opening of gifts. But still, how come it’s not obvious in the pictures? The façade of momentous adjustment still prevails.

As happy as it may seem, I don’t think I could ask for more. In fact, I didn’t even expect to receive a present. It’s not that I already have everything, which is damn far from reality, but it’s the fact that I can’t think of what to write on my wish list. For me, this already signals the emptiness I was talking about. I dunno, I felt different this time.

On Christmas Day

The elders went to the mall and played Bingo while the youngsters stayed at home, contemplating on things, feeling the hang-over last night. When they came home, we, the bagets, decided to go on a gimmick. Kami naman! And from the bottom of my heart, it has been memorable. I couldn’t imagine how the situation was able to make us all go together, my siblings, my cousins and I, gathering us in a happy night out.

We went to Eastwood City. It’s my cousins’ treat, of course, since they’re already working. To think how busy they are, awww, it has been my pleasure. We dined in at Fazoli’s and drank Seattle’s best drinks. I ordered for a Hot Chocolate, my favorite. Hehe. I really had fun; we didn’t do anything but to bully one another. I guess, that explains kung bakit alaskador ako to my friends, kasi in our family, lahat kami mapang-asar at mahirit. It was sooooo fun.

In the midst of our bonding and asaran sessions, Sam Milby came downstairs. We’re at the terrace kasi, overlooking how people got star struck. Of course, naki-picture din kami. Haha.

The session didn’t stop at the parking lot.

We’ve gone home early for a DVD session and at last, I have seen The Notebook. I detest those who said that it’s not good at all. Oh well, I felt a big AWWW after seeing it, and it just bothered me for like 2 hours. I dunno but I couldn’t sleep that time. I found myself staring at the wall for such a long time, thinking of a lot of things. I’ve read all the messages in my cellphone hoping to see one forward-able, but unfortunately, there’s none. How stupid I have been in ignoring all the heartfelt messages I’ve been receiving all these years, and for despising the mushiness of these romantic ambience. I take my words back, now that I’m coming to feel the great rush whenever I think of you. I might have been too obvious and I owe you an apology for that, for giving you Goosebumps. I just can’t help thinking of you all the time. I may have been the worst kind that you can imagine, but I just want you to know that all these years, I have tried to be the best that I could be. I’ve gone to test my patience; I never dared to look at the directory; I didn’t dare ask it from you but rather from someone; And after getting it, I never dared to give it a shot for months. But now, I can’t let another year pass by, I gave up the patience I was building on but afterwards, things don’t seem to go well for us. Argh. I just hold on and reach for the stars hoping that they’ll conspire and make us go together; And I’ll just be here waiting.

And now, I am certain of the emptiness I was talking about.

The next day, the family holiday gimmick continues at the Metro Market! Market!

Then, I went to the wake and funeral of my block mate’s dad. I don’t think I have the right to talk about it here. Gurl, Mi, I just want you to know how I love you. I can’t say that I really know you but for the past 2 years that we’ve been together, I can attest to the incredible strength, confidence, and will-power that you possess. I believe that you can surpass these insurmountable odds that are coming your way. I really express my sincerest condolences from me and my family. I love you and I will always be here for you.

I went home, mourning.

Toni’s Big Night, So Mine’s

2005-12-24T17:30:00.000+09:00

Toni’s Big Night, So Mine’s

I went back to the condo at around 9.00pm. The original plan is to bar hop but one incident somewhat shifted everything. I guess, it’s Toni’s big night. For whatever that is, I don’t think I have the right of talking about it. Let’s just leave it to them. I just wish you two, a good luck.

Nons, what a Christmas. And so mine, in a totally opposite and unique way.

Where are we back then? Mal, Kathz, An-an, Andrei, Jelline, Pigey and I spent time waiting for the good news at the living area. Take a lot of pictures, here and there. Joke here and there. Text twist there and again. We’re about to leave then, but we just can’t. I went up and down of the building just to kill time.

When I got out of the building, I met this poor kid. How can I forget him? I spent time talking to him, with authority in a sense like his older brother.

“O anong ginagawa mo pa rito? Gabing-gabi na ah. Dapat ang mga batang tulad mo ay natutulog na, nang lumaki ka.”
“Eh kuya, mamaya pa ako uuwi eh. Hindi pa kami tapos sa pagbabasura.”
“Ah ganun ba? Anong oras mo balak umuwi?”
“Mamayang alas-kwatro kuya. Kuya, pahingi naman ng pambili dyan ng pagkain.”
“Ah nagugutom ka na ba? Anong gusto mo? Cge, sandali lang bibili ako.”
I went back from 7-11, with cream-o.
“Kumakain ka ba nito?”
He looked at it and grabbed it.
I gave a joke. “O, hindi mo manlang ba kami bibigyan?”
He handed it to me. “Sige, kuya, ikaw na ang magbukas… hehe.”

I don’t want to open it but at that very moment I felt the need of sympathizing with them, at least, the thing that I have in mind that time is be close to him and build a connection.

So I opened it, got a piece and handed it back to him.
“Salamat ah.”
“Kuya, ako nga ang dapat magpasalamat sa ‘yo eh.”

And that melted my heart. I felt so happy despite the helly week I have had. Whew. I can’t explain the feeling. It’s a gift, an early present I have received for Christmas. Ibang klase talaga. Sarap ng pakiramdam, to think na I only spent a few peso for the food, nakakalambot talaga ng puso. Kaya wala akong masabi sa PBB, whenever they wish to feed the street children kasi kahit ako rin, pangarap ko rin iyon.

I wish that at some point in time, I would be able to give happiness to all the kids in the world. In particular, to the street kids of Katipunan whom I always see everyday. Hay, I remember the same legacy I left the ASLA graduation and the legacy that I will never stop pursuing.

Salamat sa Ateneo. Salamat sa Diyos.

I have realized that this Christmas is not for me, not for us, but for others. That’s why we give gifts and presents. Basta, any material thing couldn’t match the feeling of being with these unfortunate kids.

Whew. I suddenly remembered the Aghamunti. Nakakataba talaga ng puso. Thanks to Marshy, for the memories.

Haha, going back to the block gimmick, sobrang napalayo na, hahaha.

We made some tequila shots, spent time at 7-11 eating noodles, then to Pigey’s condo and watched a DVD. Pero sa sobrang antok, nakatulog din kami. Nagising nalang kami nung babalik na ulit kami kanila Toni. I was sleep walking then. I could hardly open my eyes so by the time we’re back at the condo, I went straight to the bed. Haha.

What wake me up? The story of Toni’s big night. All of us we’re like so excited to get the first-hand info from her unforgettable night. I slept at around past 5am after the long heart-to-heart talk with Kathz and Mal. To both of you, thanks a lot. I’m counting on you.

We woke up at around 10am. We all didn’t care to take a bath, haha. Sobrang tinatamad. Kathz, Che, An-An and I went to the Museum. As usual, it has been an unforgettable day for all of us. We were late for the closing time of the museum so we’re just able to see a few. So, we need to go back next time. Along the way in searching for the hidden treasures of Manila, we met Cookie Monster. Haha. Going back to Kathz’s place, we rode the pedicab with this motor thing. What an adventure traversing the alley’s in Manila. Scarry and fun, Che and I felt like mummified and put into the Manunggul Jar and Maitum Jar. Haha.

We left at around past 9.00pm and I arrived home past 10pm. Right now, I haven’t taken a bath. Later, it’s Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas to everyone!

*shit, what the fuck is what woke me up. Darn! Haha, stupid mistake.

Block Christmas Party

2005-12-24T17:12:00.000+09:00

Block Christmas Party

Headline: Math Majors Batch 2007 had their Christmas Party at the Burgundy Pool area.

It has been so fun. I woke up around 8.00am and accompanied Jelline to DV. Haha, a morning shopping at Tutuban. Tiring pero okay lang. We had a great time. We were back at Katipunan at around past 12 noon. I bought a bouquet of flowers for Toni, since siya iyong ka-exchange gift ko. She wished for a bouquet kasi, and thankfully, hindi ako nahirapan bumili. Hahaha.

I didn’t have any plans of getting into the pool and stuff despite the fact that I have brought my swimming trunks with me just in case, but all of a sudden, people threw me into the pool. Good thing that they took my fone off me.

I was soaking wet that time, along with my wallet, which was unfortunately not rescued, really pissed me off. Never in my life that I have planned to throw anyone into the pool, even I being thrown into the pool. During that time, I felt so sad but not mad, not at all. I never knew how to react. I tried to give it a smile but I couldn’t. At least, I was able to talk to someone and that really helped giving me bunch of smiles on my face. Thanks a lot!

I really love my block and I am just so happy and so lucky to have known them.

Marshy, thanks for the memories.

I went home to change my wet clothes, coz it’s the block night out later.

Hell week before Christmas

2005-12-21T17:02:00.000+09:00

Hell week before Christmas

I really despise the teachers who cram before Christmas break in giving exams and all sorts of submission and stuff. I understand that they don’t want us to be busy during the break if ever they will be postponing it next year. Fine, but they should have had done it earlier. Well, if they’ll be reading this, I know that they will be blaming all the holidays. Still, shouldn’t they care for the students who seemed to be having a finals week before the Christmas, kahit pamasko man lang? In my case, it has been a hell one. Darn.

I have had my math exam last week, for 2 days. And it has gone so bad. This week, I have an everyday exam. Firstly, I have taken the history exam last Monday. It’s really tiring, I have stayed at Mocha blends last Sunday para lang makapag-aral ng maayos. Imagine that I have read the Pigafetta article and other 20+ pages each reading! But guess what? It didn’t help much. Basta.

On the same day, we had the caroling practice, which was postponed since we’re all busy for the org works. Not only that, around past 6.00, thank God Chris accompanied me to DV, to get the AMS shirts. Argh, sobrang hassle. We commuted the 200 shirts to Ateneo coz we could hardly get a cab, sobrang traffic kasi and pasaway yung mga taxi sa pag-over price. Imagine my lean body carrying a bag in each hand containing 50 shirts each. Darn, I still have an exam the next day! I arrived home at around 10.00 and felt exhausted so I went to sleep right away.

The next day, it’s my Theo exam. I woke up with extreme muscle pains that prevented me from attending my 2 morning classes. So how’s my exam? Not bad, hopefully, kahit na I’ve only studied for 2 hours. Dami rin kasi readings and you have to memorize a lot of theological terms. My mind’s about to give up that time. Quite unforgettable feeling. Again, it’s caroling practice pero postponed. Toni and I waited there until 6.00 pero nothing came. Kung may dumating, too late na. Hay…

After 6.00, I accompanied Toni to Gateway. We just dined in, then I left her with Kuya Sonny as they went to SM afterwards. I arrived home before 9.00pm and I started contemplating on my philo exam. Grabe, it’s really philosophically hard to grasp. Shit. From 9.00pm until 8.00am, I sat in front of the computer trying to dissect the concepts and then understand. Career-in ba? Hindi rin. I wasn’t able to make a superb one, as usual. Hay, another sleepless night. Well, it’s due pa naman by 5.00pm pero I don’t want to risk cramming it, like what I have been doing last semester. Besides, we have a caroling drag rehearsal since its carol time in the evening.

I made my way to my first class that day (it’s Wednesday) since we’re going to have a problem set. I felt so drowsy, floating in the air. I was wearing this pink AMS shirt, but I couldn’t match its joyful aura. Oh well.

We had fun singing carols to 5 houses at Marikina. Kahit na 5 houses lang, we’re able to earn a lot. Thanks to everyone who sang with us! AMS owes you one! Congrats!

Snoozing. Lethargic. Somnolent.

I stayed at Toni’s condo over night, once again. And once again, may nagulat nanaman hindi nga lang si Isel. Haha.

Toni, it’s gonna be your big day tomorrow. Sweet dreams.

AMS ChristMATH Party

2005-12-17T16:55:00.000+09:00

AMS ChristMATH Party

One most awaited, most wanted… is over.

Oh well, what can I say? After this long hibernation from blogging, I really can’t figure out what to write especially that I have decided to shift my form of writing into something unknown.

What about the party?

As usual, it’s tiring especially I was part of the organizing team. Well, thanks to Rice and Binks for making the most of it. I have ranted to all sorts of places, to all sorts of things… really harassed though. But like what I have said in my previous blog, I still need to confirm if the façade of momentous adjustment still applies to the pictures. Up to now, I haven’t received a single pic taken from the party. Sad sad.

I also owe a lot to Maja, Patty, Kendwin, and Jr, the documentation peeps. I thank the execom for taking part in this memorable event. Thanks to Neal for hosting with me. And to all of those who I mentioned in the email. Haha, to be safe that I didn’t miss anyone. Haha.

After the Party

The ChristMATH Party ended early since there’s a simbang gabi to be held at the Gesu. Then all of a sudden, after we have removed almost 99% of the thumb tacks in the ceiling (exag ang hirap!), people came up with a movie gimmick. Nagkayayaan. So ako naman, to relieve all the stress and problems I have had this week, I joined the club.

Movie Gimmick

I was with Toni (as usual), Chris, Zippy, Kathz and her boyfriend, TJ. We saw “In Her Shoes” starring Cameron Diaz. Well, what can I say? It’s a bit draggy at first, but the latter part just gave it a bust and kick! So I can affirm to its being heartwarming and funny.

It’s the last full show at the Galleria. We went out at around midnight and waited for a cab. Take note that we’re standing there for almost an hour and we could hardly get one. Zippy already went home when Kathz suddenly came up with the idea of going to Eastwood. Oh well, although we’re down to 5 (me, Toni, Chris, Kathz and TJ), go pa rin!

Jack’s Loft Gimmick

It’s already past 1 hour after midnight when we arrived at the Eastwood. We’ve decided to dine in at Jack’s Loft. I ate a lot, same with the others, as usual whenever we get there. But this time, hindi na siya mabigat sa bulsa! It’s Chris’ birthday treat to us! Haha, Let’s all greet Chris a Happy Birthday on Christmas Day!

Kaya pala Christian, kasi he’s born on Christmas Day. Eh bakit ako, Christian din? Labo.

We left Jack’s Loft by 3.00, and took a cab to Katipunan. Kathz and TJ took their way home, while we’re down to 3 (Chris, Toni and I) inside the cab. On our way home, we had a roller coaster ride. Exag kasi si Manong Taxi Driver. He seemed to be drunk or bangag, if I may say that correctly, coz he seemed to be like talking to himself about all sorts of things, parang baliw. Nagising tuloy kaming lahat. We we’re like in a drag race along Katipunan Avenue tipong whenever he makes this jerky U-turns, lumilipad kami. Scary as it may seem, but fun at least we’ve had another memorable incident together. Hahaha. I can call it a night out.

I slept at Toni’s condo at Burgundy. Isel woke up when the sun’s up, and nagulat.

*The AMS ChristMATH Party was held at the Cervini Recreation Room, from 5.00-8.30. Astig talaga si Rice. She had their family’s decorator ship all the materials from Mindanao and design the venue for the party. I’ll upload the pictures here soon!

Diffy Day

2005-12-14T21:58:00.000+09:00

Diffy Day

I’ve been so exhausted the whole day and right now, I am feeling so tired.

I took my first LT in ma161, and damn, it has gone so bad. It may have seemed so easy for them, but since I have never had the chance to ponder on my notes and answer some problems, its one hell of a frustration for me. So sad…

I planned to cut my afternoon classes but an angel sort of guided me. Darn, I’ve nearly slept in class coz I was not really feeling well.

I attended the AMS Conjugates and it’s been so fun!

For how long can I keep this feeling? Where are you?

It’s hell week before Christmas, how ironic. I have got so many things to do. ChristMATH Party, Shirts, Gifts, Problem Set, everyday long tests next week, caroling… Gee.

Where are you?! Darn, I've never had an entry for the past few days.

Façade of Momentous Adjustment

2005-12-10T17:19:00.000+09:00

Façade of Momentous Adjustment

" Spoon and Fork"

I was kinda reminiscing the last day of our helliest Sem, the day of our Stat109 Final Exam. I could still smell the bitterness of spending 2 hours running after your life pressing all the buttons in the calculator and finding out that almost 90% of us got an F. It has been a traumatic experience. I browsed my pic folder and found these pictures.

Sometimes, it makes me wonder how come it's not obvious in the pictures; All the bitterness, depressions and frustrations. Aren't we just so excellent in creating this façade of momentous adjustment? I don't think so. Need not ask, need not clarify, just take it as a fact. Moving on, I guess, is what we've really mastered throughout our college stay.

When the going gets tough, and when the tough gets going, cheer up coz by the end of the day, everything will depend on how you have become.

Nons, the shirt! :P

Jack's Loft

2005-12-09T22:52:00.000+09:00

Jack's Loft

We had the caroling rehearsal, kuno. All we did was to kill time waiting for Deb to answer the call. She has the song piece kasi. Anyway, I was supposed to see a play tonight pero dahil sa peer pressure, napadpad ako sa Jack's Loft. Grabe, busog! Sarap, kahit mabigat sa bulsa.

Kasama ko si Toni, Marshy, Ysel and Zippy. Congrats! (Shake hands)

By the way, I'd better shift my way of blogging to something. Whatever that is, hindi ko pa alam. Wala lang.

Bummer

2005-12-09T12:55:00.000+09:00

Bummer

In a week or two, it’s Christmas Break!

I dunno if this will mean a ‘yehey’ coz there are still tons of pending works for me to finish. It’s hell week in how many days yet I’m still bumming around. ‘Til when am I going to be in this mode? I really need a break!

As a proof, I was once again late for my first class today. I really had a hard time waking up a while ago. Maybe my body is really craving and starving for rest, as in rest! Haha. Tapos, Jelline got mad at me for being late. Yikes, pero she had the right naman para magalit. Tanga ko kasi.

Also, I have realized that I’m doing great in playing the ‘hide and seek’ game. Five days in a row, never caught by a single jaguar! Haha, but I’d better get a new one since wala nang pag-asa na mahanap pa iyong ID ko!

I’m currently waiting for my next class, which is Philo. Wala na akong maintindihan so I no longer care catching up with the readings. After that, history naman and I haven’t read the assigned reading. Bakit ba kasi kailangan pang magbasa eh I always pay attention to class naman. Argh! Then, AMS Caroling rehearsals. And lastly, I have a play to watch later! I am a guest kaya libre! Yahooooo!

I Stink!

2005-12-08T19:57:00.000+09:00

I Stink!

I am not in good shape. I feel so lost in space.

I slept late last night, around 4.00am, almost forgetting the fact that I have an 8.00-meeting with my department at my fave fast food. My phone’s scandalous vibration woke me up as Patty was calling me. It’s 8.30am and obviously, I was already 30 minutes late. Oh shit.

My momentum was changing abruptly. I became confused of what is best for me to do. I really felt bad for those who were already there waiting for me. Gee, to think that there were already 4 of them waiting for me. The first thing I did was to make a return call. When Patty answered, I asked her if we could do a phone patch for the meeting since I will be wasting their time if I am going to make them wait for me to arrive. Rice called me using her sun unlimited but we could hardly hear each other so I had no choice but to leave the house right away. The sad thing is, I never had the chance to take a bath.

I arrived just on time, around 10am, as I have promised. We dealt with the important stuff at once and finished by 10:30am. Afterwards, I received a text from Toni stating that they're (my blockmates) in Mocha Blends doing our Time Series problem set. So without further ado, I joined the club.

By noontime, Toni, Rach and I went to hear Mass at the Parish of Our Lady of Pentecost at Varsity Hills Subd. Of course, it’s the Holy Day of Obligation. According to Toni, not attending the celebration of the Feast of the Immaculate Concepcion is a mortal sin. After the mass, we went back to work, answering the problems. Actually, wala akong naitulong kundi ang makigulo at makitawa. Hindi na ako makahabol sa pace ng discussion nila kasi late akong dumating. Take note that since 8.00am pa sila ron at ako, tulog pa that time.

Oh well. I am not really feeling well. I need to sleep na or else I will collapse tomorrow. Thanks to Jelline for the diffy q’s, and to my block mates of course, for understanding my situation, that is, if there’s really to understand. Whew.

But before going to bed, I still need to eat dinner, post an email to the AMS egroup, text the AMS message for the text brigade, print out the tickets, finalize some stuff, rewrite answers, read philo, read histo, and many more. Oh sheeeeet, I wish myself a goodluck.

Up to now, I haven’t heard anything from you. Good night to the fairest of the night.

Oh I haven’t taken a bath yet! I stink! (Okay lang, hindi naman obvious! Haha)

Dully Day

2005-12-07T23:34:00.000+09:00

Dully Day

It’s FREE CUT!

Yes, you’ve heard it right; I didn’t attend my first class since there’s a mass at the Gesu. Today’s my little sister’s birthday and tomorrow’s the feast of the Immaculate Concepcion and ConCon’s birthday as well. Wala lang.

I was so lazy getting out of the bed. I even contacted several companies while I’m busy lying down. Imagine I woke up around 6:30am and I only left the bed by 11:00am. Anyway, after eating my lunch, I went to school right away.

I planned to cut my philo class thinking that I might be called for the recitation. I decided to be late but no matter how slow my pace has been, I still made it right before time. Thank God there’s no recitation, or else I might have received another Fucking mark. Sheeee

After class, I stayed for an hour at Matteo and left for the Ateneo Placement Office GA. Right after the GA, we attended the AMS Caroling rehearsal. It was followed by the ExeCom Meeting at Shakeys. Sobrang nabusog ako, hindi na nga ako makalakad eh.

Finally, I’ve gone home, still waiting for you.

"Waiting"

Err! Err! Err!

2005-12-06T19:04:00.000+09:00

Err! Err! Err!

MISSING IN ACTION

Until when should I play

‘Hide and Seek’ with the jaguars?

Minutes passed since I have gone home, early today. I have bought cheese curls and up to now, I haven'tt eaten it yet; maybe later. Well, there’s nothing much to write about except for I was being antagonized by the word err. Can someone help me how to use this verb? Fine, I know its meaning but I can hardly formulate it in a sentence. All I have is To Err is Human; To Forgive is Divine, which is not even a sentence.

Am I erred? Yuck! Sounds really bad.
Got erred?
What erred this writing?
Err!

Is this a clarification or a correction? Anyways, I don’t know if you could read this but there’s so much for you to know. I haven't received a reply after all. Maybe you’re just so busy, and at least, this helps me understand. Could you just read the article about Love in the Road Less Traveled book? I’m longing for the day that our universe will transgress and make us go together; Little by little. Err! Until when should I wait?!

I'd better start looking for my ID.
Such a freak like err!

(I am currently transferring all my entries from friendster blogs.)

Monday Tiredness

2005-12-05T22:55:00.000+09:00

Monday Tiredness

I played hide and seek with the Ateneo Jaguars, yes, the guards for the sole reason that I couldn’t find my ID. And up to now, I can’t find it. I might have misplaced it somewhere after I went from Ayala Museum and Umbrella Party. Shet, sana it didn’t slip out of my pocket during the party.

I felt so tired the whole day that I have almost cut my afternoon classes. And despite the wooziness that I was struggling with, I still went to DV with Patty to finalize everything regarding the AMS shirt. Oh well. I was so sleepy a while ago. I came to a point that I could no longer open my eyes while talking to her. To my surprise, upon opening my eyes, I saw a woman showing off her boob on a rooftop (tama ba? One of her boobs is a boob. Yikes!). Grabe, sobrang nakakagulat. Nagising ako! La lang.

So Patty and I went to Pen-Pen, we took another route to DV and tada! We made it! Kahit na sobrang hilung-hilo na ako, masaya pa rin ako. Hay, masakit pa rin ulo ko. Ouch!

I have just read Mal's new entry. Shet, nahilo ako lalo realizing that I still have a lot of pending works to finish! Argh! Buti nalang, when I have checked on my email, I have seen our pic taken at KFC, Robinson's Lipa. Awwww... I miss Puerto Galera! Weird pero I am currently watching PBB, at hindi na masakit ulo ko. I despise what PBB is doing. They seem to love Nene, and they want her to win! Look at the snake challenge? Shet talaga! Vote for CASS! Kahit sino wag lang si Nene! Ang Epal. Yuck, super jologs naba ng pinagsasabi ko?! Okay lang, I can't afford to miss the last few days of the show. Hahahahahahaha.

TJ, Peace! Haha!

Sorry Kathz, I can't avoid uploading this pic. Shet, ang laki pa pero cute naman. Oh well, I have just noticed that it seems like Kathz no longer possess her killer eyes in the picture. If there's what we call as "pouted lips" that is being flaunted by models, meron din kaming killer eyes. Go Kathz! Kakatawa lang... I'll be uploading this pic again soon. Hay, wala nang sense ang sinasabi ko. Nahihilo na ako ulet. Whew. Gnyt!

My Looong Weekend

2005-12-04T16:31:00.000+09:00

My Looong Weekend

I don’t know where to start. I’ve been lost in circulation lately. I’ve got the worst week so far, and hopefully, it’s the worst already. Oh, since I have been so busy during this long weekend, then I might as well start on it.

First Day: Friday

COSA Work: Telemarketing

It was Friday morning when I woke up late since its ACP day and I was so lazy that I didn’t sign up or anything. In the afternoon, I did the COSA work and imagine that I have contacted around 30+ companies, and talked to them as-if I am a call center agent. I was laughing out loud, of course in a discreet manner since I was talking to them, because they kept on asking me to which company I belong. Haha, have I created a certain aura or impression to them? O-M-G, my head’s bloating already. Haha.

AMS Work: Trip to DV

After the COSA work, no matter how lazy I was, I still went to DV. It’s already 4.00PM when I left, and I arrived there past 5.00PM. How did it go? Worse! I rode the LRT 2 station given that it’s the only way I know how to get into DV. I stood from Anonas station all the way up to Recto. Even though I had the chance to grab a seat, I cared not to. Ewan ko ba, it feels guilty inside whenever you see women standing in front of you. It’s not that I pity them but there is this calling the bugs me whenever I do that. Oh well, it’s relaxing though. While I was busy standing and making my moment of sight-seeing (Imagine, it’s Manila in which all I saw where buildings and factories), the train’s aisle suddenly caught my attention. It’s kinda weird but at that very moment, I wished to grab a camera and take the aisle’s picture. I can’t really explain it but for your sake, just imagine that the people in the aisle were like having their own moments like mine. Solemnity and gratitude were the things I have seen and felt in a span of a few seconds. I want to be a photographer! Yikes!

I got off the train when I received Cookie’s call. I rode the jeep to Masangkay, which is near kathz’s place. If before, I used to ask for Kathz’s help to bring me to DV, now, I did it alone. Whew, what an adventure! It was already dark when I got off the jeep, and to my disgust (not really) I saw a lot of horse dungs!?! I wonder why since Patty’s not with me. Haha. Kidding aside, I’ve totally realized that the dung mismo is fibrous, because scientifically the horse eats a lot of fibers (grass). Yuck, feeling scientist. Was it a clarification or a correction? Oh well.

As usual, DV’s chaotic but it didn’t hinder me from pursuing my goal, which is to get the AMS shirt from Pen-Pen which is all the way to Juan Luna. Imagine how far I have traversed, starting from Masangkay, to Soler Ave., to Meisic Mall, to 168 Mall, and finally into the wilderness (what a term!) of Juan Luna. I arrived at Pen-Pen to see Mei Hao at around 5:35. Unfortunately, she’s out eating somewhere so I stayed and waited for her. She arrived after 15 minutes and sarcastically, I thank her for not having the shirt ready. I was kinda pissed since she’s texted me that it’s already for pick up 3 days ago pa! And at that time, should I think that I wasted time? Argh, all I did is to make a deposit and leave right away.

The Email

I went to see Kathz made a short chit chat and left since it’s already 6.30PM. The series of unfortunate events continued to prevail since I was caught in the middle of a heavy traffic going back to the LRT station at Recto for more than an hour! I arrived home past 8.00PM. I checked my email and I have read something that made me feel so depressed. But I won’t expound on it since the people I am referring to can hardly get my point, so I just replied to those who could pay attention.

Friendships

After PBB, I went online and chatted with Patty and Pigey until 4.00AM. We’ve talked about a lot of things. With Patty, napagtibay ang aming pagkakaibigan. It made me realize that sitting down and talking about things really helps you grow, spiritually. I love you Patty! With Pigey, I’ve realized how lonely we are thinking that we’re the only guys in the block, ignoring Roy who happens to be delayed and who happens to have a life now that he has someone called Odette. It has been our bonding moment, the ultimate open forum. Meron lang talagang mga taong panira at naninira ng buhay at walang magawa, buti nalang may lunas na pag-uusap and it helps clear and straighten things up.

In a friendship, I believe, there’s what we call a certain level of understanding. And friends should cling with it and be consistent. Of course, in life, there’s the protagonist (Ang magkakaibigan) and a lot of antagonist. To further build your friendship, each one should watch out for these antagonists who rant out a lot bad things and rumors that could really destroy the trust (bond) and understanding. Buti nalang talaga, there’s the mighty glue, ang usapang marangal, that brings back the friendship and helps us to cling more to that understanding. Whew. Pigey, we rules!

There was a great need to end the conversation asap for I have to wake up early for our museum trip to Ayala. Otherwise, papatayin ako nila Kathz and Che!

Second Day: Saturday

Ayala Museum Trip

My mom was so stressed waking me up, hindi talaga ako nagigising. She’s so thankful to Che who called me that morning. Sobrang sabog ng pakiramdam ko, bangag in a sense. Hindi na dapat ako tutuloy pero sabi ni Che, they’re willing to wait for me. I got up and hurriedly get myself fixed. Although tired and starving, I left the house right away.

I arrived at Gonuts Donuts Araneta, our meeting place around 10.35AM but miraculously, I was the first one to arrive. Grabe, I was not late. Yeah yeah, late in a sense pero hindi ako late. Labo! While waiting, I bought 2 Gonuts and it turned my stomach kasi sobrang tamis! Yikes! Finally, they arrived and we went to Ayala na thru MRT.

Take note of our goal and purpose: To pay a visit to Ayala Museum as a requirement of our history class. We arrived at the Ayala station before 12.00noon. They dined in at Oody’s samantalang ako, feeling sick because of the Gonuts. Not in mood to eat. Tapos, we waited for like 20+ minutes waiting for their order pero wala pa rin. So ako, sa init ng ulo ko, sumugod ako sa counter at nagbossy-bossy-han. Haha. I scolded the crews kasi ba naman noong lumapit ako, doon pa lang nila inaayos yung order. Shit sobra, tapos the girl reasoned out, kasalanan daw ng printer at hindi na-print ang order nila. Grabe, nauna kami sa ibang customers pero nauna silang nakakain at umalis. Oh well, warning to those who wish to eat at Oody’s. Make sure to follow up your orders frequently at baka makalimutan nila. Tapos, nag Globe tour pa kami.

There’s this promotion on going for Globe. They have this big shuttle with different stations. One of which is the picture taking na gagawin kang cover person ng magazine. Basta, the pic that they’ll give you is of size 4R which shows a cover page of a mag with you, of course, as the model. Labo ba ng explanation ko?! Wah! You might be wondering on how we were able to get in since the primary requirement is that you should be a Globe user, and si Kathz lang ang Globe sa amin. Haha, here’s the trick. Isa isa kaming pumunta. Kathz lent her sim to Che and after che, she lent me her fone for the reason that my fone is not open-lined. Amazing ba?! Haha, Ooops… we need to go to the museum pa! Haha, nakalimutan namin. Haha.

We went to Ayala Museum. Asteeg! Sobrang ganda! Promise, with all the paintings! Super amazing! Art lovers should pay a visit! Asteeg talaga! But the thing is, wala ron ang hinahanap namin. It annoyed us that we went to all floors and only found around 10 artifacts! Grabe, at puro mga camiso at panyo! Hello? We’re looking for prehistoric pots, weapons, etc. but what we’ve seen were from the Spanish period tapos puro damit. Nakulangan kami sa input, so we’re scheduling another trip to a museum in Manila. Sa Thursday ata.

Oh well. We went back to G4 to get our pics. The thing is nakakainis kasi nabura ata yung akin. Sa sobrang loser ata ng hitsura ko. Haha. Kasi when I looked at the monitor, talagang nawala ang slot ko. Before me is an old guy, tapos ang sumunod sa akin is a girl with her kid ata. Weird kasi this girl I’m talking with greeted me. Hindi ko siya kilala pero sabi nya, “Hello!” as if we’ve met somewhere before. Whew. Okay lang naman, nagulat lang ako. Haha.

The MRT Incident

At 6.00PM, we went to the MRT station and bought our tickets going to Cubao. While we’re having ourselves siksikan, all of a sudden biglang nagkaroon ng seat. So si Che naman, took the opportune. The train stopped a station tapos nagkaroon na naman ng vacant seat, so si Kathz din upo agad! Tapos maraming bumababa, so ako rin nakiupo na. To our shock, as-in natawa kaming lahat, nasa Taft Station kami. Shet, mali pala ang train na sinakyan naming so bigla kaming lumabas sa sobrang kahihiyan pero people are coming in so pasok ulet kami. We’re laughing out loud sobra up to the point that the woman beside me, biglang itinulak ako. So ako, nagulat! Grabe! Siguro she was disturbed by our moment of unending happiness. Tapos si Che, katabi ko s’ya, sobrang natatawa na at nandidiri kasi there’s this old man standing awkwardly in front of her. Na-disgrace si Che. Haha. Finally, we made our way home. It was an adventure. Sobrang saya, gimmick ang labas pero with a benevolent purpose: Pay a visit in a Museum. School work pero masaya!

Parties

I went to catch my cousins’ birthday party at Filinvest. I stayed for 2 hours and left for the COSA Umbrella Party at El Pueblo. Since I am an AVP, I felt the need of supporting our Org’s event. I was with Rach, Jelline and Anna. Ang saya sobra! Sobra! I drank a bottle of Strong Ice and Coco Punch, plus sisig and French fries! Saya Sobra! Whew, ang weird lang kasi kung kalian junior na kami, saka kami nagsasaya. Hay, it’s just right to kick out the hell week coming in two weeks. Whew. I arrived home at around 2.30AM.

Third day: Sunday

Wala pa akong nagagawa. I woke up around 1.00PM and now, blogging. Right now, I need to start working. Tama na ang gimmick at pasaya. There are a lot of things to do. La la la la! In three weeks, its Christmas break na! Yahooooo!

Mahaba ba? Sorry.

Andre Coolers

2005-12-02T02:01:00.000+09:00

Andre Coolers

After the terrible Wednesday, as the domino effect prevailed, I had a bad Thursday morning.

I woke up late, still depressed, felt so lost when I took a bath and I seemed like a ghost roaming around the house for some unknown reasons. The thing is, I had to cut my microeconomics class for the sake of finishing the 23-paged reading, which is an excerpt of The Road Less Traveled about love but unfortunately, we didn’t have a quiz. Nag review pa man din ako, tapos wala lang pala. I have wasted my effort. But at least, it made my day kasi ayoko rin magquiz. Haha. In fact, we have met a lot of shocking incidents along the way. First, I gave a three-loud-“shets” to Roy and Odette who were having their intimate date at the soccer field benches. Secondly, I eyed on Dino and Betty as I have found out that they’re currently on. Thirdly, wag na at baka mabasa pa nila, basta shocking!

Anyway, yehey, as I have needed to cheer up and bring back the lost energy in me, Toni, Patty, Mal and I went to Eastwood and see “Just like Heaven.” I had fun although I didn’t really like it that much since there’s nothing much to expect from a chick flick film. But Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo were good though. In fact, Toni and Mal cried, as always. Afterwards, we dined in at Fazoli’s and they cornered me up.

I couldn’t really imagine myself being caught and trapped in a question and answer series. This is about love which I presumably would like to avoid for some personal reasons, and later on, you will eventually find out that there’s so much about me when it comes to love. This gets exciting and a bit embarrassing for me but for posterity’s sake, I’ll give it a shot. Yeah, I want to keep track of my spiritual growth, as what we have discussed in Theo.

I have just allowed myself to answer three crucial Yes-or-No questions and to the best of my knowledge, I answered each one as carefully and as honestly as I could. Weird, parang complicated pero yes or no lang naman. Oh well. Mahirap pala ma-hot-seat pero masaya naman ang interviewer although malungkot pala ang interviewee. Yes, I have sensed this extreme loneliness after divulging several information about me. A dilemma came about. What about it, next time nalang.

There’s so much more to write, and I am so eager to talk about it. I am just waiting for the perfect pitch and timing to spit everything out. I just don’t want to be interrogated about this, that’s it.

PS: You might be wondering why this entry was entitled that way. It’s because Andre Coolers has the highlight of our Thursday afternoon. It was after our time series class when we went to caf and bought our lunch. There I told them that I couldn’t join them in the “Just like Heaven” gimmick later. I began to rant about my frustrations, stupidity, depressions and Toni interrupted me and scolded me, as-in galit at nagtatalak:

“Ayan naman kasi alam mo namang marami kang gagawin eh pupunta punta ka pa dyan sa conspiracy iyan tuloy na-de-depress ka nang ganyan at hindi ka pa tuloy makakasama Andre coolers tayo?!” (Imagine, she was just talking to me!)

From the cynical look on her face while scolding me, well she was like my mom doing parental talk, all of a sudden, biglang nag-shift yung madiin na pagsasalita sa malumanay na “Andre coolers tayo?! Read the sentence inside the quotation marks, with feelings dapat. Red is for galit at nagtatalak, tapos biglang blue na malumanay at mabait na Andre Coolers. Parang baliw style. Sobrang natawa talaga ako. Hahaha. Kaya kami ni Mal, whenever we hear Toni’s high-pitched loud voice, hihiritan na namin sya ng “Hala! Mag-Andre Coolers na tayo!”

Chaotic Wednesday

2005-12-01T17:42:00.000+09:00

Chaotic Wednesday

"Chaos"

I have just learned my lesson. Imagine how traumatic was yesterday for me. Shit sobra.

After the Conspiracy

Kaye, Jelline and I enjoyed the night of deepest and darkest sizzling natters, with the help of Orange and Lemons’ immense performance. In fact, we have met Paco, an LM friend of mine, with his LM friends. Although we arrived at the bar so early, around 9:00, just to catch Kaye’s favorite band set to play around 11:00PM (Imagine, 2 hours to wait!), we still managed not to bore each other. There was the unstoppable Kaye who never stopped ranting about her life, and the charming Jelline, who has been as bubbly as always, well, I really have nothing to ask, sobrang sulit na.

The Stupidity

Although I was very much aware of how crucial my Wednesday schedule would be, sa katangahan ko, I lost track, I laid low, shit, kaya obviously sumabog ang araw ko. And since I drank a bottle of Redhorse, I had a hard time waking up the next day. Although exag since I didn’t get drunk, for weird reasons, I didn’t really notice that my alarm’s already ringing and my sister’s waking me up.

The Chaos

I arrived at matteo when the first bell rang, that is 10 minutes before our ma161. Obviously, I have crammed my homework. Oh well, the stress didn’t end with that. I have a placement interview by 11:10 and I forgot that I needed to bring my resume with me for the interview. So after class, again, I had to cram my resume and I really thank Toni and Patty for helping me. I was such a parasite to them! Anyway, the interview lasted for 30mins. Patty and I hurriedly made our way to Matteo, while eating my baon na oreo since we’re terribly late for our 11:30 meeting. After the meeting, it’s around 12:30 na, I still have a paper to finish but since I was already starving that time, I ate lunch at caf. Unfortunately, I needed to cut my philo class in order for me to finish my paper. Here's what disgusted me, our philo teacher gave a quiz which is equivalent to two oral recitations. Shux talaga, I felt really bad and depressed. For the first time I have cut my class, nag-quiz pa! Shit! Not only that, I cut my philo na, I was 20mins late pa for my history class, which is right after philo. Ang sabog pa ng paper ko! Actually, I have made a lot of attempts in finishing my paper during the long weekend but for some stupid reasons na wala ako sa mood, I couldn’t think of anything, hayun, sobrang pangit tuloy. Tsk tsk.

After history, I spent time with Nikki as I have accompanied her to Xavier Hall forgetting that I have a meeting with Rice by 3:30 right after class. Shet, I was so lousy. Shit shit shit. But I explained everything to Rice and thankfully, she forgave me. Whew. Thanks Rice! I didn’t have regrets anyway since I have met and nattered with some friends whom I have never had the chance to talk to for the longest time. There’s Mela and some math majors.

By 4:30, we had our first Christmas Caroling rehearsal. Although ang sabog ko, I had fun. I went home around 6:00PM and edited my blog layout until 11:00PM since kinapa ko pa ang ilang html codes. Argh… I slept right away after this very long day.

The Truth

Although the world was up against me yesterday and that the evil forces somehow conspired to ruin my day, I still don’t have regrets. What happened was something I have wished and longed for. Yes, I dreamt to be punished and I’ve achieved it effortlessly. Now, I’m thankful that I have learned my lesson: That is, to never go on a weekday-gimmick. Weird but definitely true and consistently real.

Conspiracy Bar

2005-11-30T02:14:00.000+09:00

Conspiracy Bar

CONSPIRACY BAR!

The first gimmick of the sem. The first weekday gimmick. The first time I went to a music bar. The first time I’m with my bestie in a bar. The first time we, Jelline-Kaye-I, were together. The first time I went home late this sem, with unfinished business. The first time I am going to cram my paper due tomorrow. The first time I gained knowledge. The first time I have known Cantovering words – Kaye’s. I’ve just known them better. The first time I’ve let myself let slip things I have never imagined. The first time I drank Redhorse this sem. The first time I ate Sisig in a bar other than Gerry’s. The first time I have been to Conspiracy bar. The first time I have seen Orange and Lemons. The first time I have heard them sing live. The first time I have seen Paco, an LM friend, in a bar. The first time I write this way. The first time I start my sentence with the first time. The first time I enjoyed bar hopping. The first time. The first. This time.

Orange and Demons

2005-11-29T18:49:00.000+09:00

Orange and Demons

As usual, I was late for our 7:30am Time Series Cramming Session with my block mates. Yes, because it’s our recitation day. Take note, I’ve gone home late last night since I stayed in katips until 8:30 for the sake of finishing the problem set assigned. I was so tired, late for the food trip here at home, wasn’t able to finish my histo paper, etc. Tapos, I slept so late na since I had to update myself regarding people’s blogs. Oh well, tapos, for whatever unlucky reason, I was called to recite the problem I never wanted. Shet talaga! Pero I am really thankful to Doc Mara when he announced towards the end of the class that it’s just a dry-run, and not to be graded. Whew, kahit stressful ang time series, super favorite ko pa rin si Doc Mara!

I’ll be discussing something about Time Series and Forecasting soon!
I still have to finish my homework for tomorrow, i.e. Histo paper, Differential equations problems, and read Analogia, coz Jelline, Kaye and I will be going out tonight. The fanatic Kaye couldn’t miss the Orange and Lemons gig in a bar I don’t know somewhere in Mindanao. O-M-G, it’s 6:15! I’m gonna meet Jelline pa at Mcdo by 7:30! Got to go!

Orange and Demons, wala lang ako maisip na title. Pero malay mo, hindi mo napansin. Effective ba joke ko? Wah!

My ENTA Family

2005-11-29T01:35:00.000+09:00

My ENTA Family

Last Saturday, Blue Christmas was held at the Bellarmine Field and for the second time around, I joined the Storytelling presentation of ENTABLADO. But this time, it wasn’t as relaxing and easy as before, rather it’s really challenging and embarrassing for me. Haha, as traumatic as it has been, I portrayed the role of a soldier for the story “Ang Mahiwagang Biyolin.” It is not that the role was tough, since in fact all I had to do was to arrest one of the characters and that’s it, but it’s because I felt so uneasy with it. Nalaman ko lang na may natitira pa palang hiya sa akin. Tsk tsk. Tapos I was late pa for the rehearsal that day, yikes, sobrang kinailangan ko talaga ng motivation. Thanks to Kate who never stopped encouraging me, pero nahihiya talaga akong sobra sa kanila. In the end, ewan ko ba, parang wala lang nangyari. Happy naman ako, at least I was able to meet new friends, those who were in the pics. I’ve just realized how ENTA has evolved for the past how many years of my stay.

Meow! Meow! Meow!

It has been three years now since I have rushed through the ENTA room, popularly known as the Enta Hacienda. But it no longer exists, since Colayco Hall was demolished. I can never forget how I begged Tita Jetti just to accept me for the NSTP class since I failed to join my block because of the stupid guidance test that time.

I can’t really imagine how he was able to accept me. I was too late for the audition, too late for the application, too late for the interview. Was it because I got a 1X1 photo ready when I filled out the application on the spot or talagang nakakaawa lang ako that time? Whatever that is, I really thank him for believing in me. Labo!

Ironically, I knew a lot of ENTAdirs (this is how we call the ENTA members) when I was a new applicant during my freshman year but now that I’m a junior, I can hardly recognize each one. Siguro, mga ka-batch ko nalang ang kilala ko plus the higher batch men. Oh well, I guess, this only reflects how inactive I have been for the past three years. The challenge for me is to bring back my dynamic ENTA residence. That is only if I was not kicked out yet, though I am not really sure.

ENTABLADO is the experimental theatre org of the Ateneo. As the name implies, it requires passion and dedication. But why did I keep on renewing my membership even if I knew then that I can’t spare a lot of time for the org?

Honestly, I still have to find that out. It’s such that whenever it’s Recruitment Week, I never failed to miss ENTA in my choice of orgs. Right now, I am a member of five organizations, officer on two but I am neither happy nor proud of it since ENTA was one the two other orgs that I am inactive with. Let’s just say my love for theatre still exists although in a dormant stage. Haha, funny as it seems but yes, I dreamt to be a main stage actor. But I guess it will take the whole universe to conspire just to bestow me such motivation and make it happen. Not now, I believe. One thing I am sure of: I will never stop becoming a part of ENTA kahit isuka pa ako nang ilang beses. Haha.

Bilib talaga ako, Sobra.

LSS Annoyance

2005-11-27T15:42:00.000+09:00

LSS Annoyance

I've just recently known, thru my lil sis, that I could upload wma's in this blog. I don't know how this will look like but I will give it a shot. If you have any suggestions, don't hesitate to give me a tag or comment. What else? Oh, I plan to upload my music list so expect to hear several songs everyday. I'm sure it will be annoying, but don't ya worry coz this will be just be for a week's trial. And if you really can't resist the irritance that this is bringing you, well you don't have to close the browser, what you should do is to double-click on the speaker icon on the lower right portion of your screen, and click on mute. Here, I have visual aids. Haha.

For Instrumental Music

For Non-instrumental Music

Music currently being played: Breathing by Lifehouse

Wish List, ehem!

2005-11-26T21:54:00.000+09:00

Wish List, ehem!

Sorry if epal at makapal but I’ve enumerated the things I want this Christmas. You know, I am just helping you choose the right Christmas present for me since I know that you want to give me something special that I would really want. Actually, this has been our family tradition; we make wish lists for our family. Oh well, I just hope that this would help you. Don’t worry; I’m aware of how worse our economy has been nowadays so I’ve adjusted my list according to your budget. Kapal ko talaga.

PILOT GTEC Blue pen (0.4)
Tommy Bahama or any sort
Shirt (small)
HP book 5 and book 6 (These were the things I lack! Haha)
Headset (Coz I lost mine, 6610!)
Original Nokia 6610 key pad.
Lucky wallet, with cash! Haha

Kapal ko ba? Fine, I just wish that these things that I have enumerated will come true. Oh I forgot, avoid giving me useless stuff like candles, celfon, mp3 players, TV, laptop, LCD projector, etc coz it won’t make any difference. Haha. Kapal ulet.

Above all these, I wish that IT will come true. Ehem, I am just trying to help.

On Prime: Love, Learn, Move on

2005-11-25T23:59:00.000+09:00

On Prime: Love, Learn, Move on

My day has been a so-so one. I’ve accomplished the things I have to do, and I guess, I did it right. In fact, this week has been the most hassle-free of all the weeks in my college life. It was not until our First AMS General Assembly came. Toni, Chris and I were harassed when the seniors left for their batch pic. It was a mess, but it turned out to be good after, at least.

A dinner with my best friend, Kristina, and my block mates, Toni and Marshy, ended my day. As always, we dined in at Jollibee. Actually, I didn’t eat much since we’ve just eaten pancit from the GA.

The sun set in contrast with the moon as Kaye and I went to Gateway after Marshy and Toni left. We saw the movie Prime starring Uma Thurman, Meryl Streep and Bryan Greenberg. It was not actually planned. Let’s just say a silly idea that all of a sudden popped out of our minds, and it worked! I had fun; it was one of the most memorable OP (out-of-plan) gimmicks that I have had especially that I am with my best friend.

On Prime: Love, Learn, Move on. It was in the latter part of the film when this phrase was mentioned. I won’t mention anything about the movie so as not to spoil you if ever you have plans of watching it. For me, without any intention of plugging it, it was just right. It’s one of those films that I have looked up on to after Cruel Intentions. It really gave me solemnity and deep-thought. Whew, how am I going to say this? *Shrieks!

The movie has just made my heart start to beat again, after its longest hibernation in history. I’m dreaming on how it feels to be in love once again. I know that this sounds funny but for a change, I want to be serious. Don’t laugh on me, please. It’s been how many years now and at last, I have finally opened it. Yeah, it was such a relief that I was able to have a serious heart-to-heart talk with someone, which happened to be different since it was all about me this time. It’s all about love and I just want to thank her for being a good listener.

From time to time, I have been the adviser and consultant in all sorts of things. I gave my ideal thoughts as advices but it’s so ironic that it’s out of experience. Also, it seems weird that I never had consulted anyone about my feelings. Was it because I haven’t found the right person yet? Or was it because I am afraid of talking about it? Whatever it is, I’ve made up my mind, but who am I going to talk to? I’ve talked to someone about it, and she’s great. What happened? Well, I enjoyed it but she seemed to be so naïve about it. Frustrated? No, at least I was able to open it up to her. Relief? Yeah, really. What’s next? I’ll try to make my moves, but it will be soon and not sooner.

Wala lang, I am such a hopeless romantic loser.
I just hope that my Ms Cancio would help me on this one.
Naku, it’s going to be really a matter of luck.

If you can’t imagine me saying this, just ignore it. Okay? Thanks.

Breathing

2005-11-24T19:14:00.000+09:00

Breathing

I'm finding my way back to sanity, again
Though I don't really know what
I am gonna do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back in the arms of grace

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I am looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and
I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head God, which one's you?
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel
And break these calluses off me
One more time

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside your door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting
For the scraps to fall
Off your table to the ground
I just want to be here now

I want to thank Lifehouse for bringing such an inspiration. Thanks to Daisy, my HS classmate, who introduced me the song. But it was just lately that I was able to grasp the entirety of the message being endowed by the song. Oh well, what's up with me? Argh, nothing really.

I have just gone from school. I arrived home, at least smiling. I was supposed to go to PenPen today but for some reason, I just went home rightaway. Then I have thought of this song, Super LSS mode ako, all of a sudden. Whatever it is, ewan.

Labo.
Oh by the way, this is Che's fave song.
Nice, indeed.

For the First Time, At Last!

2005-11-23T20:35:00.000+09:00

For the First Time, At Last!

.1.

There's nothing really much I have had today except for a few things:

1. I have attended the AMS ExeCom meeting.

2. I have attended the Enta First GA at last!

3. For the first time, I yawned at our histo class.

4. For the first time, I was able to participate in class (Histo).

5. For the first time, I took another route to school.

6. At last, I have confirmed that my classmate at th121 is my teacher's son.

7. Tsk tsk, I forgot to ask about Mr. Tolentino's Lambchop buddy.

8. For the nth time, I signed up for my guidance interview.

9. For the first time, I arrived home late. Time check, it's 8:30PM!

10. For the first time, I ate at mcdo alone.

11. For the first time, I failed to read the assigned reading for Philo and Histo!

Re: 2nd Semester

This is the first time that I have enumerated them out.

And I guess this is going to be the last.

At last, I've gone really tired this sem.

Whew. Weird.

For the first time, at last.

Ma Bestie

2005-11-22T21:04:00.000+09:00

Ma Bestie

Certified Hottie!

Her name’s Kaye.
Look on how she has grown, for those of you who have known her. (Heya Kaye, you know how proud I am!)

Actually, when I was on my way home today, I was really pissed off by something which SHOULD NEVER BE NAMED. I was caught in deep thought and reached a point where in I never stopped talking to myself in discussing all the things that ran through my mind. What led me to this condition? A little secret that nearly broke my heart. What about it? Well, it will be soon for you to find out.

Thank God, this gurl has interrupted by giving me a buzz at YM. Actually, I was really down and not in the mood to talk but she insisted and never stopped talking about all sort of things and I have just realized how I miss her. I was near to a teardrop when I suddenly remembered the things we’ve had since first year of HS.

She was my first friend in HS. We were classmates during our freshmen year; she’s just behind my seat. I remember the time when she borrowed a pen from me, take note, it was the first day of classes and she didn’t have a pen! We’ve shared a lot of things; we’re forever classmate, together with Clang. We’ve gone thru all the hard times of Research life, love life, life, life, life…

There was a point in time that I have questioned our friendship, if she’s really someone special for me, that if she’s really my best friend. First and foremost, I can’t really define and differentiate all types of friendship, if such really exist. Come on, we classify our friends into categories, and soon we’ll reach a point that we’ll realized that we have misclassified them, and that they have failed our expectations and we’ll get frustrated.

But what really constitutes a best friend or the best of best friends or the closest or a friend, not just a friend, but a true friend? For me, it’s quite simple: He/she is someone I can entrust my life with, especially whenever you’re down, he/she is there for you, and most especially, you enjoy each other’s company regardless of anything. It’s not just about a sheer acquaintance, but it’s a lot deeper than that you can think of and that you really have to share.

Count yourself in, because you truly should be.
Brend, Bestie, Bespren, Best friends, whoever you are.
Thank you for sharing your life with me. (Cliquish!)

Am I selling her? Nah... She's already taken. Haha. Just kidding. Love you, best!

What's happening to me? Oh my jolly, what am I doing? Tsk tsk tsk!

History's the Best!

2005-11-21T18:48:00.000+09:00

History's the Best!

Nothing really significant happened today, except for I have received my first F this sem. Yes, remember what I have told you last friday? About the quiz? Shit talaga, pero I don't give a damn. It was really unexpected, that's why. Depressing, pero bawi nalang next time. The lesson of the story is... Don't be threatened. Relax whenever you're shocked. Labo!

Good thing that I enjoyed my history class. Sobrang okay talaga ni Miss Habana. Actually she's married, pero I want to call her that way. In fact, she has a son who happens to be my batchmate, si Ginoong Habana, but I still have to confirm. She has shared her cute stories once again. Frankie, Mac... her cats which happened to be lost in EDSA and were able to go back home, actually si Frankie lang. I won't elaborate further kasi alam ko OP na kayo. Wala lang ako magawa, kaya I've thought of writing a blog, a senseless one.

What about the pic above? Well, it's Batanes, "one of the best places in the Philippines" according to Miss Habana. Maganda raw. So ako naman nagsearch agad and I found out htat based on the pics, maganda nga. I hope that we could go there someday. Dream dream dream...

Tomorrow, Microeconomics nanaman, Time Series, and then Theo. Whew. Ang gaan ng feeling!

Block X's Original

2005-11-20T16:08:00.000+09:00

Block X's Original

Let's just say that this is a tribute to block X's original AMC majors that continue to strive for excellence kahit apat lang sila at palaging nadi-disolve ang AMC classes nila. Labo. Since I am going to be busy for the rest of the semester, I've thought of doing this as soon as now. But first of all, pardon to those whose pictures are nowhere to be found and for those who are gonna be shocked since I stole your pics from your own private places.

To start with, I now present to you the Ignite's Block X. Ignite was our OrSem theme. We started as nine different individuals who came from different schools but we ended up 14. Labo!

Whoala?! The original block X are composed of AMC majors. Yes, I was an AMC major back then, together with Toni and Rach, but we shifted to AMF and we're happy to find out that we still belong to the same block according to the RO. If you think that we're still complete even though people shifted, no because Jay and Aris shifted to Math but this doesn't seem to be a problem since they were replaced by several Math peeps who shifted to AMF. They are Jelline, Kathz, Che, and Malerie. Let me introduce to you my blockmates!

Let me start to the ever AMC blockmates, they're the original.

Gary

Shocked? Haha, don't worry. I sought his permission before posting his pic. Together with Malerie, whom I have previously introduced to you, he's also my classmate at Doc Mara's classes except for ma101. He's my blockmate, classmate but the weird thing is, we never became seatmates. We never had a little chit-chat that could help me (or him) adjust to the college demands. Whew, but I've got to know him better lately but I will not elaborate this any further. Just to add, he dreamt of graduating alone as an AMC major and that was before. Next is...

Patty

My AMS buddy. Partner in the FP dept. Partner sa kalokohan. Partner sa kainan? Yes, because konti lang siya kumain, so hindi ako lugi. Haha. Masarap ka-share kasi yung hindi matakaw. That's why we're both the payatots of the block. Don't worry Patty, it will be our turn soon! You might wonder why Patty and Gary look like product endorsers. They made their post for their magazine project and I plagiarized it! Haha. Screw me Patty!

Then, here's chel.

Chel

She's my #1 nerd and masipag sa block. I can always spot her as early as 6:45AM at the bench in front of the OAA, studying. Yes, you've read it right. She's always studying. Not only that, she's also the ever obedient blockmate. She never miss to obey her parents. Good girl talaga!

Then, here's Chino, with his girlfriend, Toni. Just kidding, ignore the latter phrase.

Chino

The block's wanderer. He always roam around the school grounds, with his MP3 player. You may find him serious, pero you're in trouble for saying that. Super kalog nito, masaya kausap at antukin. Remember our puerto experience when he was always caught sleeping and day dreaming?

There you go. You've just known the 4 sole AMC fanatics. Yes, the computer geeks our block will never stop caring for.

Coming up next, the Block X's AMF Majors!

Horse Dung?

2005-11-19T11:59:00.000+09:00

Horse Dung?

I think I wasted my Saturday, tsk tsk.

I went to school as early as 8:10 (I was late for the 8:00 call time) for AMS stuff. We finished at around 9:00. I should have gone to the Lib and study, but no, I spent time with Patty and Marshy. But I don't blame them, it was such a bonding moment for us. I ordered my lunch from Jollibee and ate it at Patty's apartment. I was supposed to attend the workshop but it wasn't really that important so I didn't cancel my DV appointment for the AMS shirt, instead I planned to go there as soon as I have finished eating. But I failed, as always. It was a siesta hour for me coz while watching the Amazing Race Marathon at AXN, I fell asleep right away. Sarap grabe! I've reached a point that I couldn't open my eyes anymore. We left the apartment at 3:30, then I went right away to Kathz' place. Then, we've gone to printer at Juan Luna. Everything settled. So stand by for this design that will capture the Ateneo grounds! Yikes, yabang. Haha.

I would just like to thanks Mors who designed the AMS shirt this year. Can't you recognize the people in the pic? Ehem! Ehem! Haha. So what are you waiting for? Avail the AMS shirt asap!

It's already dark when we went back to the place. As usual, bida ulet si Kathz. Grabe, sobrang bait at hospitable. She fed me a lot, from bake mac, then a chocolate biscuit for desert and take note, she has served me while we're watching Meet the Fockers. Oh well, super relaxation! Tsk tsk, si Mal kasi tinamad at hindi sumama. Salamat ulet kay Kathz, kung wala siya, wala pang AMS shirt. *sniff *sniff. Haha. Then I went back home.

Nagtataka lang ako. I found no single horse dung in my entire DV trip today, na-miss ko lang ba or dahil wala si Patty? Haha.

Did I waste my Saturday? Nah, in fact, I had fun! I guess, I regret that I was not able to study today. I still have a day tomorrow to work it out. Ang labo ko na... wah. I got exhausted this week. Whew.

Friday the Thirteenth

2005-11-18T22:42:00.000+09:00

Friday the Thirteenth

So stupid that I didn't get out of my bed early although I was not late for my first class. The time now? Well, it's 10:42, and I'm inside the library composing this blog. Sobrang bad trip kasi ako ngayon. I've just been from my ma161 class, and the hell, sobrang nakakainis!

Come to think of this: We're given a surprise quiz, but take note, 8 questions! Grrr! For me it's a long test, a surprise long test. I thought it's going to be easy, I'm referring to the course, since a good teacher is going to teach us. I don't know if I should take my word back. I am really depressed. Am I going to get my first F? Shit, I can't do anything. I was alarmed, at least this is a good sign. F*** talaga!

Oh well, I have to go now for a while and i'll try to edit this later when I get home. I still have long readings to read, philo and history! Yikes! I don't want to cram anymore! Tsk tsk!

And I made it. Yes, I'm home now. Time? It's PBB hour and I want to write things about this day. Oh well, at first, I didn't realize that a friday doesn't have to be the 13th day of the month for a person to be miserable. And now it has gone worse, at least until noon when my blockmates ate at KFC leaving me alone in the library.

I've finished all the readings but everything seemed so useless. First, it's very hard to comprehend, and second, we didn't use it in class. Argh, but at least I was able to have a good start though. After classes, Nikki and I were supposed to go to UP but it didn't push through coz we've got no one to visit. I just wasted my load, wala kasi nagrereply sa messages ko. Argh.

I planned to go home rightaway but I failed. I went to the Lib to return the ISTM CD realizing that my effort of buying the CDs yesterday despite my exhaustion became useless since there's only one of my classmates who got her CD from Ms Edith. I saw Patty and Kuya Mark. We went to KwelaOke and I guess, that's the highlight of this day. I enjoyed it. We left school by 7:00PM and stayed at Jollibee until 9:00PM. Now, I am currently in front of the computer, thinking of what to say next.

What about this day? Argh, wala! Nakakainis lang ang araw na ito. Tomorrow, we have a meeting by 8:00AM, I have to attend the Finance Officer's Workshop in the afternoon and I have to go to DV for the AMS shirt. First week's sooo busy. Whew.

I've just seen this pic from my sister's folder. Wala lang, I just want to post it. Aww, I miss HP4!

Red implying anger and extreme frustration.

TTH's Relaxing!

2005-11-17T21:53:00.000+09:00

TTH's Relaxing!

I've attended my Micro class. We've just had a review of the basic Eco concepts. Then, after the first bell, I went to the Lib to get the ISTM CD, which Doc Mara asked me to do. I searched for the CDroms in the Lib but I had a hard time finding it. Kainis lang kasi when I asked the librarian for assistance, she said sa annex pa raw makukuha, so luckily, I got it!

I arrived late at Doc Mara's class, my Time Series and Forecasting class. And he recognized the CD I borrowed from the class and he's also recognized me as PHILIP. We burst into laughter and until now, I can hardly think why Philip? Oh well, anyway, he's really my favorite teacher of all time. Awww, ang bait kasi sobra at sobrang talino pa!

We ate lunch at Jollibee and afterwards, it's our theo mom's class. Siesta talaga! Ang nakakainis pa nito, nalaglag ako sa triad namin ng blockmates ko. Now, I'm with another group. Huhuhu. Oh well, c'est la vie, kaysa naman ilaglag ko ang isa sa kanila. Before I leave Ateneo, Toni and I went to the advance lab, I've read Che's testi, natawa ako. Awww. and I agree with her, whenever we're classmates, star-studded ang block namin! Probable!

When I was near home, kainis, I've remembered that I need to buy CD-Rs pala since I have to burn copies of the CD I borrowed from the Lib for my classmates, so I went to SM North. I saw KD and he told me where to buy a CD. I went back and forth in the cyberzone (Former SM Carpark) and search for the cheapest CD in every store. Luckily, when I have reached the end store, whew, I found one which costs P9.00. It's expensive pa nga eh but oh well, that's the cheapest na sa SM.

I've gone home, ate OTAP (courtesy of SimSim), and tried to burn copies. It was just a 4MB file but there seemed to have a problem, hindi ako makapag-burn! Bad trip. Oh well, papa-burn ko nalang kay Sir Ryan tomorrow. Oh well, eventhough it has been a long day, it still remained a stress-free day for me. Sana tuloy-tuloy na!

Now, I am currently standing by for PBB. Franzen's going to be out on saturday! I wonder how will he react tonight. Hmmmm.

Block Issue

2005-11-17T21:18:00.000+09:00

Block Issue

I am really happy with my block. Eventhough we were just a minority among the biggest blocks in town, I am still proud of what we've become after 3 years. Even though Toni, Rach and I left our AMC blockmates (they're only four now since when we're 9 in the AMC block, while Aris and Jay shifted to Math), they're still with us, Patty, Rach, Chino and Gary, in all gimmicks, kalokohan... etc. Pati sa issues, walang iwanan. Even sa isyu, walang iwanan kaya wala kaming pinapalagpas... Nadagdagan pa kami, ang saya talaga!

CNN reports.

I used to post several paparazzi pics on our e-groups homepage. Walang magawa. I've made some but in an irregular basis. And lately, FYI, Toni and I went to the Lib one morning and was shocked by this pic. Chel, with a guy, in the bound periodicals section. I was the one who took this picture using Toni's celfon and whoala?! I took this pic with less than a meter distance from them and imagine, they didn't even noticed it. Tsk tsk, panu nalang kapag real life situation na... wala na, huli na sila.

The big question now begins to enter our stream of consciousness, who is this guy?

I've only realized that it was just __________. Yikes, ang nagagawa talaga ng isyu. Bad xianxu. Tsk tsk. Chel and ____ will kill me for this one. Hala! Ang saya ng mga feedbacks and comments on this isyu, I'll post everything soon until it's resolved.

I wish to feature block X soon, I need to look for pics in peep's archives. So better watch out! Soon!

Goblet of Fire

2005-11-16T22:33:00.000+09:00

Goblet of Fire

I've never get so excited like this. I was never bored in class today since it's HP day! My blockmates and I went to see Goblet today at Gateway. This is my craze, which is to never miss a Harry Potter movie in the cinema house. Although I was not really happy about the movie, it didn't fail me with my expectations. I found it great, and eventhough I haven't read the book 4, I felt like there's something missing. I never noticed that I sat there for like 3 hours, time has been so cruel to me. Argh! I only got pissed off when in the middle of the show, I rushed to the CR. Yeah, peeing pissed me off! I was no longer feeling well kasi kanina, and when I got everything released, whew... what a great relief! And I enjoyed the rest of the show...

I really like Hermione Granger, Emma Watson. She's so glamorous! Astounding! Look at her!

Prior to the movie, I have heard a lot of rumors of how bad Cho Chang looks, but no. She seemed really fine to me. Thank God, Heart Evangelista was not able to take the role.

And lastly, I just hope that Harry and Hermione end up together, not with Krum and Ron for God's sake! Haha... Bitter.

Now, I am fulfilled. I got home, finishing COSA stuff. Whew. It's TTH again, tomorrow!

Yehey, tanggal na si Franzen! Vote for Cass! Yahoooooo!

Poor Cass

2005-11-16T00:20:00.000+09:00

Poor Cass

Few minutes have passed since PBB, when Cass volunteered herself to be out of the house in exchange for Franzen.

Yeah, I was wrong with my prediction. I never thought that it's going to be that way. But I don't care anyway. The moment I have seen the decision that Franzen's going to be forced evicted, I became so happy but Cass took all the excitement from me. I really do not know why she's doing it. Of course, I have already came up with speculations about it but really, Franzen do not deserve such benevolence, Cass! He's pasaway. I never liked him. Fine, he's got the masses but it's because they pity him. Oh well, that's bullshit! Franzen's not really born poor like what was shown. He's deceiving the masses!

But I am not saying that Cass don't, I am not really sure. 'Though I'm pretty sure that the show is the one deceiving us. Tsk tsk.

First of all, if I am going to think of it, why in the first place did Cass give 2 points for Franzen if she pities his family. I can answer fo her. Cass doesn't want him to be forced evicted. I guess, Cass already knew the fact the the masses is on Franzen's side. So whatever happens, even if he gets a thousand nominations, he won't be evicted. And I guess, it's a lot different if he's going to be forced evicted. But still, I want him out!

Secondly, I don't think Cass should volunteer herself in exchange for Franzen. If she's trying to catch our attention, then she might probably succeed but No. Who on earth would risk something that he or she really wants? Assuming that Cass' intention is to win. I saw a better Cass with a better heart. Maybe, the reason why she's doing it is that she's feeling guilty and sorry for Franzen and she's blaming herself for entertaining Franzen's whispers. Look, she must have escaped the nomination if she didn't dwell much on the decision. Now, she's going to suffer. Poor Cass.

I just hope that people can really see the point.
I would really feel bad if she's going to be out.
It should have been NENE! GRR!

Puerto Galera Reloaded

2005-11-15T20:29:00.000+09:00

Puerto Galera Reloaded

Ang sarap balikan ng nakaraan, kasabay ng saliw ng musikang inyong naririnig. Nawa'y kayo'y magalak at masindak (lalo na sa sexy sa ibaba!)

SEArenity

Psst Sexy!

Dinner at Toni's House

Psst Sexy ulet!

Leaving Puerto

I just miss the puerto experience. Whew.

I Love TTH!

2005-11-15T17:55:00.000+09:00

I Love TTH!

I was late in my Microeconomics class today for 15 minutes. Luckily, Toni and Marshy have reserved a seat for me. Haha, my eco teacher is funny and I don't want to elaborate on it, mahirap na. Then, Doc Mara's class came right after. Nothing has changed, except for we sat in front, right in the middle of the class room and I starved to death. Ewan ko ba.

We ate lunch at Manang's and we had guests! Imagine?! Haha. There was Bers, who had trouble at the chinese parking lot, and Abi, our COSA friend who displaced me to another table. Haha. Ang init talaga.

Then Toni, Che and I, headed for our theo class at F114. It was boring though the teacher seems nice, hopefully. Kasi she looks like a mommy figure. What a day, we had our barkada eco teacher in the morning, followed by his Dad's class, then finally, the mommy figure. Kaya pala ang gaan siguro ng araw. Whew.

I love TTH! Suave!

It was also lately that I have realized the changes in the campus. The grassy fields and quads are no longer just grassy and messy, because they've put a Zen touch. Yuck, ang pangit ng pagkasabi ko. Wahaha. Yeah, Zen gardens na ang Ateneo.

Reminiscing about the former Ateneo looks...

SEC Field, How clean and green.

CTC and JGSOM

Note: Pictures are courtesy of www.admu.edu.ph

Oh my Cass!

2005-11-15T01:56:00.000+09:00

Oh my Cass!

I am busy with COSA and AMS work, but I really can't help it.

PBB Sucks!

PBB is power tripping and it's annoying! They're making their viewers wait. Bad trip talaga, I am very much eager to know why the nomination was suspended. But oh well, delaying tactics. Anyway, if I heard it right and if it's really true, I guess, it's really a big issue, causing a very big conflict. Tsk tsk. So to satisfy my curiosity, I went to search for the house rules and here are my findings:

It says there:

1. Housemates may not plot or scheme against a fellow Housemate. Doing so is against the rules of the Big Brother House.
2. Housemates may not throw dice, draw straws or use any kind of game to select the eviction nominees.

Since it was just Cass and Franzen being interogated, and no one else was called an accessory to the crime, and since they're really not that close to scheme a plot or whatever, I presume then that it is probable that they have committed the second option. Haha, funny as it may seem but if you could remember one time, Cass is making her votes out of nowhere. I mean, what she's showing is that she can hardly vote. Besides, she's fond of predictions, so baka gumamit s'ya ng something para makapagdecide. Haha, how about a crystal ball? Nye, OA na. But seriously, it is probable that she used a game to make her pick.

Or did they consulted each other with their picks? Nah, too far from reality.

Whew, this is exhilarating. Sorry, jologs lang.

I just want to add this pic, haha. I have just seen this at the site. My blockmates will kill me for this. Sorry!

Chx tsk tsk!

Exhausted! Shitty blog!

First Day Funk!

2005-11-14T21:04:00.000+09:00

First Day Funk!

I had a hard time waking up so early in the morning, since I need to catch my first class this semester! Yes, it’s the day that no Atenean have waited for. I arrived in the campus at around 8:50AM. I have met Marshy at the SEC Beach and she went with me for a tour. First, we went to the OAA coz I need to submit some documents. Then, we went to the ATM. Afterwards, we headed our way towards the guidance office. I have had my guidance interview schedule on 4:00 this afternoon. Inside we saw Che, whom we weren’t able to recognize. At first, I have thought that she’s one of the counselors. Haha. Finally, when we’re on our way to the caf, we met Toni along the way at EDSA walk. Whew, what a trip.

My first class on my first day is Differential Equations. Naglecture na agad si Ma’am Debbie! Argh, pero okay lang although I have remember Sucky for his Logistic growth function. Hmpf! Then, I waited for 3 hours till my next class, Philo. I saw Nikki! Yahooo and I found out that she’s also my classmate in Hi165. OMG! Nikki’s my forever classmate during my MWF afternoons! Weeeh!

My first day funk was never for real. Nothing has changed. Mainit pa rin, and nakakapagod. I went home so exhausted after all that happened today.
Tomorrow, I am looking forward to my ECO, TIME SERIES and THEO classes! Sana masaya! La la la La.

The hardest thing is, on my first day, I’m fully loaded with org work. Tsk tsk.

Name

2005-11-13T16:41:00.000+09:00

Name

One of the best lyrical poems I have read. Whew. It makes sense. I just miss my Poetry class!

Name

And even though the moment passed me by

I still can't turn away

Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose

Got tossed along the way

And letters that you never meant to send

Get lost or thrown away

And now we're grown up orphans

That never knew their names

We don't belong to no one

That's a shame

But if you could hide beside me

Maybe for a while

And I won't tell no one your name

And I won't tell em your name

Scars are souvenirs you never lose

The past is never far

Did you lose yourself somewhere out there

Did you get to be a star

And don't it make you sad to know that life

Is more than who we are

You grew up way too fast

And now there's nothing to believe

And reruns all become our history

A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio

And I won't tell no one your name

And I won't tell em your name

I think about you all the time

But I don't need the same

It's lonely where you are come back down

And I won't tell em your name

Goo Goo Dolls
One of the best bands ever lived

Oh by the way, the music currently being played whenever you visit this blogsite is courtesy of Goo Goo Dolls. Their music entitled "Name."

Chill out with ma music, eventhough you get annoyed like Marshy. Ehem!